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This Old House

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Published in the Albert Lea Tribune week of October 5, 2015.


finished roomOlder houses have character. Usually I love older houses, but the older I become the less enthralled I am with an older home. I love redecorating and all that it entails, including painting, scraping, ripping wallpaper, etc. Or at least I did until I became creaky like older homes.

Recently I stripped the 60-year-old wallpaper off the wall. The old plaster walls had seen their day. In my dream world I would have knocked the plaster down and taken the walls back to the studs and put some sheetrock in. However, the job would have been more than I could afford, and I didn’t think my husband and I were up to the task as we might have been when we were younger. I decided since I like character in houses I would put Venetian Plaster on the walls and repaint the hard wood floors for the time being. The old floor was in terrible shape and needed to be replaced with new hardwood. Again cost was an issue. I went the shabby sheik route with paint and varnish. It looks good and makes me feel as if I am in a cottage which was the atmosphere I was going for.

I watch “House Hunters” on HGTV religiously, and the offshoot shows such as the “Beach House Hunters” and the “House Hunters International.” The premise, in case you haven’t watched, is a house hunter views three properties and decides on one that fits his or her lifestyle. I also like the flip shows where a couple finds a house and someone remodels the house to their specifications.

I have “Really?” moments when watching the couples walk through houses, especially young couples. Comments such as the granite countertops would have to change because the couple doesn’t like the color, or the bathroom needs to be updated when it is a perfectly beautiful and fine bathroom. Everyone must have a master suite, and there must be at least three bathrooms and a bedroom for each child that lives in the house, plus room for guests. Kitchen cupboards make the list, too, as always needing to be updated.

I roll my eyes during many of the shows because what is criticized  or replaced looks very nice, and many of us would be very happy to have what is already there in the houses. The shows, although I love them, show us how spoiled we are as Americans because of what we expect to have as housing and furnishings. It is easy to get caught up in the expectations of society and began to want and demand perfection in our lives.

If one of these TV gurus on HGTV looked at my house, they probably would tear the entire building down. My house is not perfect. My plaster walls tell a tale of use and love and former occupants. The paint is peeling on the trim and there are a few dings in the siding. The wear isn’t there because we don’t care about keeping up our home, it is there because it is well-lived in, and although we have maintained the home over the 20 some years we have owned it, an old house always is asking for love for its owies.

Communities are stricter in what they allow and don’t allow. I once heard someone in authority in my community make a comment about a house in a different neighborhood. According to them the house was an eyesore and I must admit it was, because of lack of paint and lack of maintenance. This person thought it needed to come down even though someone was living in it. I happened to know the person living in the home couldn’t afford the repairs or the paint. They couldn’t do it themselves because of medical reasons. And yet someone thought their house needed to come down because it looked bad in the community. It wasn’t beyond salvaging and it was someone’s home, who would lose a home and have a hard time finding another one.

I used to make the same judgement until I got older and circumstances changed and my house needed some tender loving care. We do what we can with what we have. Last year was new windows, this year was new garage doors and next year will be new siding for the garage. Little by little my crooked little old house will have an owie fixed, but then, as time marches on, the owies will continue and we will continue to do what we can to find a fix within our means. Our bodies are aging and some things we can’t do ourselves anymore.

It is always an option if you can’t do the work for a home to sell it. The reality is that if your home needs work it will lower the price and it has to pass inspections. The reality is for many people in those houses you see that need painting and fixing and a lawn that needs grooming, is that it would be too expensive for them to live anywhere else. It is a catch 22.

When you see a home needing repair help consider maybe the homeowner needs help too. We don’t walk in their shoes, we don’t live behind their doors and we don’t know the pride they have so they don’t admit their dilemma and ask for help.

 

“Compassion is the basis of morality.” — Arthur Schopenhauer

Church? Sports? Priorities Have Changed.

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Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf published in the Albert Lea Tribune week of September 28, 2015

Times have changed since I was young. Religion has taken a backseat to other worldly things in our priorities.IMG_3385

After attending church one Wednesday evening I pondered all the changes that have taken place in the way people worship since I grew up.

In the “olden days” it wasn’t an option to not go to church on Sundays. As kids we didn’t miss anything because the community I grew up in did not schedule sports or other activities during church time. It didn’t matter what religion you were, respect was shown to the religious community.

During my high school days we had what was called “release time,” which was time during the week we were allowed out of school for an hour  to go to our respective churches to learn more about God and our religion. We also had the option of staying in school and having a study hall. Most opted for the religion and I admit sometimes it was just to get out of school, and occasionally we headed for a different church than ours because they were doing something more interesting such as addressing the “sex” topic which wasn’t discussed much in those days — and our parents expected us to attend release time. In fact, I think you had to have a signed note to stay in school and in study hall, but I’m not sure about that because occasionally the memory is weak.

Wednesday evenings were set aside for churches, and there were no activities scheduled in school during these evenings so as to not interfere with the churches. This was called respect.

While raising my kids, church came first and activities came second on the days we had church plans. At that time the conflict was setting in with other activities, but most parents made the choice for their kids that church attendance came first.

I realized when reading a blog by a friend how easy we had it as parents in my day when deciding what was happening for our children on Sunday mornings. Did they always want to attend church or church activities, absolutely not, but they went because as parents that was our priority. Now there is so much pressure put on parents on what to prioritize in their life.

I share with permission this blog post by Kristin Lotthammer, CFM coordinator at Zion Lutheran Church in Buffalo, Minnesota. She shares her personal story of the pull of other activities on her church and family life.

 

I would like to share my personal story with you.

Last fall, I had registered my son to play fall lacrosse. When I received the game schedule, I was crushed. Almost all the game times fell right during Sunday morning worship times. At that moment, I had to step back and think … priorities. What really matters to my family, my child? He loves playing lacrosse. How could I tell him he couldn’t play on the team because I was going to prioritize church first? Values, morals, values, morals … kept running through my mind and heart. So, I had a talk with my husband and son. We were all in agreement, God comes first!

I emailed the coach and the lacrosse organization and told them I needed to pull my son from the team. I gave the simple reason that church is still No. 1 in our home, and game times on Sunday mornings were not going to work for us. Guess what, I wasn’t the only parent out there with the concern that sports are creeping into our Sunday mornings way too often! Not long after my email was sent, there was a change. A lot of the game times had been changed to Sunday afternoons. Wow, I thought! What a great organization! They listened and cared!

All we have to do is kindly speak up and sometimes that will help.

I challenge you and your family this year to think about priorities and what really matters in your home. Our children are watching and learning from what we do.

 

Kirsten’s column moved me by her courage to stand up for what she believed in. I am not sure I would have been able to do that in today’s world. If kids miss a game or practice for church they are penalized, so of course parents don’t want their kids to feel the pressure of their choices.

We live in a diverse world, and I feel we should respect each other’s values and religious beliefs. I would imagine all religions have this problem when it comes to choices for their children.

Churches have changed the way they are teaching the younger generation because the priorities of parents have changed. Many churches now offer alternative times for worship to accommodate sports and school activities. I still wonder why it still shouldn’t be the other way around. And let’s be honest, extracurricular sports and activities are important, but how many kids actually will be the next famous athlete or star?

I don’t know the right answer. All I know is that things have changed and I am thankful I didn’t have to make the choices parents have to make today. I do know I am grateful my parents made the choices they did when it came to my faith, because when I struggle or am joyful it is where I turn through thick or thin. I don’t know where I would be if that would not have been my parents priority.