Monthly Archives: August 2018

Karma, Relics, History and a Class Reunion

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Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf printed in the Albert Lea Tribune the week of 8/27/2018

Last week when I wrote about my class reunion, it hadn’t yet happened. I thought I would report a little more on a fun night for those of you who can’t decide whether they should attend the event from their high school. It might change your mind.

class picture 1968The class of 1968 of Wells-Easton High School had a good turnout and people attended from as far away as California and Florida. Some we hadn’t seen since we graduated 50 years ago. But at this reunion, I felt as if something extraordinary happened that only the universe could put together.

Friday before the reunion, my friend Vicki and I received a message with a picture from a classmate’s wife who resides in Missouri and was not attending the reunion. The picture was a class ring with the year 1968IMG_0537 on it along with the initials WHS and BL. She had seen the picture on Facebook posted by a friend of a friend. She did not know the person posting but thought perhaps the ring might belong to someone in our class, although they could not think of who had those initials.

I read the message and immediately thought of my classmate Brad Lines who lives in California and who I have contact with on Facebook. I messaged him the picture and question in the post: Does this ring belong to anyone in Minnesota? It was found somewhere in Minnesota.

Brad messaged me back. He thought it was his ring. The ring was lost 50 years ago at a camp in Paynesville. He called the woman. She lived in Paynesville.

The interesting part of this was that he and his wife, Jill, were just about to hop on a flight to Minnesota to attend our reunion. They had decided not to attend but changed their mind the previous week and booked a flight. When they arrived in Minnesota they drove to Hutchinson, met the party who found the ring and made it back in time to join a happy hour that afternoon with our class. After 50 years, he was again wearing his class ring — on another finger because as you well know as we age our body tends to grow, meaning our fingers expand in size.

We also found out on class reunion weekend we were history in our museum. The Wells Depot Museum was honoring the class of 1968. We found our pictures (they had my picture from kindergarten in a showcase along with three other kindergarten classmates, which were better than some of the class pictures I wouldn’t have wanted seen), articles from our time in school and letter jackets, GAA shirts, articles of our accomplishments, etc. Whoever thought we would be museum pieces, although I must say I am already officially an antique. A ruler from my dad’s shoe store with my writing and my name and grade three on it were found in an antique shop in Iowa a few years ago. Antique store plus museum must make me a relic. I won’t add my classmates to that designation as I don’t want to offend them and risk the wonderful comradery we found at the reunion.

We savored the moments we spent together and hoped our 17 classmatesIMG_0558.JPG who have passed were having a heavenly reunion with each other, too, as we felt their presence when candles were lit and moments of silence were observed to honor them.

It couldn’t have been more fitting for Brad to get his class ring back the same weekend of our reunion. It filled us all with amazement, gave us more to ponder about the universe that keeps calling us back together. We reminisced with those who used to be our best friends, became better friends with those who were acquaintances in high school and because we all had a good time decided to not wait for another five years to meet again. We are going to call it a 70th birthday party. In two years we hit the magic age and what better way than to celebrate it with those who shared the beginning years of our lives?

Our class motto was: “Those conquer who believe they can.”  We believed, we conquered and 50 years later we are still going strong. img_0574.jpg

Note: I have been the Monday columnist for the Albert Lea Tribune since around 2005. That is so many columns. I am delighted they want to keep me on, and so I will be moving to Thursdays. It is also a time to rename my column Sprinkled Notes, which is what I use for my blog, which can be located at sprinklednotes.com.

Reunions Set Us Free

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My column from the Albert Lea Tribune August 20, 2018 ©️Julie Seedorf

Julie Seedorf: Let go of perceptions and look beyond words

By Julie Seedorf

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Published 8:30 pm Sunday, August 19, 2018

Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf

By the time you read this, my 50th class reunion will be one for the books. I have learned so much about people since I graduated in the class of 1968 those many years ago. I am a different person than I was then.

I am not so self-centered, although you may disagree with me because we don’t always see ourselves the way others see us. I hurt more because I care more about others. Back then, the hurts were more about wrongs done to us, perceived or otherwise.

I have learned those we thought were stuck-up — yes the term back then — were shy, making it hard for them to put themselves out there for fear of being ridiculed or hurt and it was scary for them to make the first move in a friendship.

I have learned those who were loud and blustery, quick to wound with words to others, were covering insecurity, and that was their way of compensating and trying to feel better about themselves. I suspect they were walled up and hurting inside or were not in touch with what was really behind the name-calling and attacks on others.

I have learned those who kept their sexual orientation secret were miserable in a world where it was not acceptable to be who they were if it differed from society’s opinions of what was right, so the secret stayed hidden, resulting in problems later in life with families and deciding whether life was worth living, some choosing the path to suicide.

I have learned getting the best grades do not make us the smart ones — it just meant that we were good at studying or test-taking. In case you wonder, I wasn’t one of those good studiers, always feeling stupid because my interests were on more creative endeavors.

I have judged the quiet ones, the blustery ones, the ones who I suspected were choosing a different sexual orientation and those who were the smart ones. But, in my old age, I find myself questioning my attitudes and my judgment because I wasn’t necessarily making my own choices when I judged someone. I went along with the crowd, and, yes, at times I was the crowd leader. I wanted to belong.

I am a chatty person so the quiet ones made me nervous, and I felt perhaps they were judging me.

I was scared of those who were loud and blustery and cruel because I didn’t want to be their target, so it was easier to go along with it than to be the one attacked. I remember a boy telling me — and, yes, I still remember this boy’s name because he was a member of a prominent well-to-do family in town — that I was ugly so I knew I didn’t want to cross him. I had lots of friends, boyfriends too, but yet this one time I was targeted sticks with me to this day. I am lucky that is the only time I remember cruelty directed at me, but I am sure there were other times but they weren’t so devastating.

And now because I took the time to know people who are gay and transgender and have asked them deep questions, I am not afraid as I think I was back in the day when I made the judgment. I thought I was making a judgment based on religion, but in reality I was basing judgment on the fear that somehow their lifestyle might affect me or they were a danger to me. I found out years ago those I was friends with and those I loved had kept those secrets. I loved them before I knew their secret. You don’t stop loving and caring about someone when they make choices you aren’t sure about. I took the time to hear their struggle and their hurts, and my judgment went away and so did my fear.

I now understand smart doesn’t always mean the best grades but smart means each person is different and talented in other ways and we need all the gifts each person brings to the table to make this world work. We also need those from all walks of life, rich and poor, different ethnicities to build our lives and make them richer.

I would be lying if I said I don’t judge still today because I do, and it has been difficult trying to walk between the lines of the political rhetoric going on today. Sometimes I attack without thinking in many things when I began to judge. It is a knee-jerk reaction that I fear is human. I don’t always succeed right away in pulling it back and realize what I am doing.

There are some who have never been back to our class reunions, citing hurts from many years ago. I get that. When I am ready to go out that door, I still have a little trepidation that I won’t be accepted and the old feelings come back, but I push through and make an appearance and I have never been sorry in all the reunions over the years I have attended. Time and experiences make people change. If we let go of our perceptions and look beyond the words, we see the years of life in those we spent our early years with. It feels good to reconnect. Maybe it is our perception of us that had to change, finally being secure in who we are and being confident others reactions don’t matter because we are “free to be me.”

Is Honesty the Normal Policy?

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Something About Nothing

by Julie Seedorf

© August 2018

published in the Albert Lea Tribune Sunday, August 12, 2018

 

The Dog Days of Summer was going to be the topic of my column this week until I saw “Reality Check” by Pat Kessler on WCCO television. The topic was an ad by Governor Candidate Tim Pawlenty where he claims he will stop undocumented immigrants from stealing millions from Minnesota. The ad claims Minnesota is wasting hundreds of millions giving free health care to people who are not eligible.

Now before you begin attacking me for being biased for one party over another I have said before, I vote for the candidate, not the party. Long, long ago I did vote for Tim Pawlenty, one time.

In “Reality Check” Kessler stated the 2016 non-partisan study by the office of the Minnesota Legislative Auditor which the ad is based on, is true and it is true that the office reviewed a sampling of thousands of Minnesota Medicaid and Minnesota Care files and found 30 percent of the participants may have been ineligible. Many did not qualify for the program for which they were enrolled and others were not eligible at all. The study is real but it is an exaggeration that undocumented immigrants are responsible. The audit does not say that. It cites immigration as a small fraction of the problem. The audit blames lack of oversight, poor training and lack of updated software for the problem. Undocumented workers are not the problem.

I suspect the ad is misleading because immigration is a hot button topic right now and we are quick to place blame on illegal immigrants because it riles people up and gets our attention when in reality the truth is somewhere in between. Don’t get me wrong I suspect both sides do this. It is up to us to sift through the information and find the truth and it can be hard to do with so many fake news sites and real news sites that do not give us both sides of the issue. Being informed is not easy. It is time-consuming and hard work.

I will admit to not making informed decisions on occasion in my voting in the past. I will admit to passing on news of Social Media sites that I take at face value not looking into the validity or the truth of what is being said. I will admit to not being the smartest bulb on the planet in many areas and politics may be one of them because I have not done my homework. But it is no longer acceptable for me to vote for someone because I think they are a nice person or they are a friend. I have done that in the past and voted blindly because I liked someone’s personality and what they are showing to the world.

Let’s face it we do not personally know the people we are voting for. We make assumptions based on what they look like and what they project in the public eye. It is easy to change our public persona and if we are a good pitchman or a persuasive person. It is even easier to sway opinion no matter what field we work in. We might actually be a vile person. Think of serial killers and how surprised people are to find out about their dark side when they have only known them as being a friendly neighbor or good guy or gal.

After listening to Pat Kessler I decided to do my own reality check on some social media posts that are being passed around on both the Republican and Democratic side of the coin. It was amazing what the facts were once they were found some actually on the Government website such as Social Security and the benefits for Welfare pages proving the posts to be false or half-truths. Again the truth was skewed and facts were somewhere in the middle. Both the conservative and the liberal websites skewed the truth. Only the websites which presented both sides of the issue were anywhere near the truth.

Because we are so quick to believe that which sides with our viewpoint, we may be passing along untruths to further an agenda which is not based on facts or truth. We point fingers at the other side and place blame which in many instances is unfair in its basis.

Primaries are coming up. I would urge each and every one on both sides of the spectrum to take the time to do your research and flush out the truth whether it agrees with your opinion or not. The truth is important. It is time we quit making decisions based on what is fed to us through the proliferation of advertising for each candidate which may only have half of the truth woven in the statements being made.

I believe we owe it to our country, to our children and to ourselves to quit the rhetoric, make informed decisions based on rational thinking and vote for candidates who represent honestly what they are spouting and hold them accountable to the truth.  That is if we can find one who doesn’t skew the truth to make themselves look good. That in itself may be a frustrating journey. It seems candidates today think they can’t be honest to win an election.

Oh and by the way, here is another truth. Just because I am an author it doesn’t mean I am the smartest bulb in the planet when it comes to literary works either. Trivia friends this means you. There too I tend to only pay attention to books which fit my reading personality, light and fluffy. It is good I don’t have to vote on anything there