Mother’s Always Have Your Back!

mom on hillGood Morning. mom2121jpg

Mother’s Day is approaching. How will you spend your day? I miss my mother. We didn’t always get along. We were both head strong people with very different personalities. As I have gotten older, I now realize why she was the way she was. Life changed her. My mother didn’t have an easy life, and I must admit, I probably didn’t make her life any easier.

She loved her grandkids and she loved me. She developed Alzheimer’s in her later years. The last two years of her life in the nursing home she was funny, cute, and a witty old woman. I suspect she was the person she was before life hit and responsibilities changed her.

I wish I could tell her all I now understand and say “I’m sorry,I didn’t understand”. She was a strong woman and when I was younger I didn’t want to be like my mom, but now I recognize that I want that strength. I want the keep-going attitude. She taught me that. In the last two years of her life she didn’t always know who I was, but I know that she would never choose to forget me. I chose to enjoy the humor and try and guess who I would be in her mind each time I visited her.

When my mother died I was going through an upsetting time in my life. She knew nothing about this.  The last evening I visited, where she fell ill hours later, she said to me, not knowing I was going through a tough time, “God knew what he was doing. He has a plan and it will all work out.” My mother never talked about God. This was an unusual thing for her to say and I knew that she was going to leave our world and leave me. I was right, I got the call hours later. She went from the healthy woman I visited earlier in the evening to being ready to leave this earth will an illness.

I was an only child. My mother, in spite of our differences and our arguments, always had my back, and I always had hers. We spent every Christmas, every Easter and every Mother’s Day together. Some of those holidays it was only for a few hours but I never missed one holiday with my mom in her 93 years.

I miss her. I hear her whispers when I need courage. I wish I had showed her more respect and more love. On this Mother’s Day, spend time with your mother. Make your mother feel special so you don’t have any regrets. A mother is your biggest fan and your biggest supporter. She will be honest and tell you when you are making mistakes. You might not always like what she says, but she will always have your back, and that includes being honest about your behavior. A mother will risk your wrath to change your life or make it better. A mother is love and when your mother is gone, you will never know another love like that in your life, but your will pass that love along to your children. Happy Mother’s Day. Take time to make your mother feel cherished always.

Ryan and Grandma Young1                  mom22

Want To Play Catch ——-Up?

I never have been good at playing catch. I also am not very good at playing catch -up. I took a week away to spend time with friends and family. I also took the time for some much needed rest. I had planned on doing some writing when I had time alone for a few days, but I found  I was tired and needed the time alone to play catch-up on my energy.

I am home again and trying to get back into the swing of things, but there are many tasks that need to be taken care of. My time away renewed my energy to tackle those tough tasks. I want to share my experiences with you.

First on my list was a speaking engagement at St. John’s Lutheran Church in Lakeville. I was greeted by some lovely and friendly women. They made me and my daughter-in-law feel at home. Immediately my jitters were put to rest. They laughed at the right places, and I left them crying when I read, Show And Tell, from my new book, “Something About Nothing”. I am not sure that was my goal to leave someone crying, but I like to move hearts.

Next on my agenda was time with family. I enjoyed watching dance recitals, basketball practice, where I observed the best first grade coach I had ever encountered, and time in conversation.

And then…..I got to spend time with my grand kitties alone in their new home. I was kitty sitting. I had a beautiful location in a fun shopping town. But….I found the quietness and the peace by myself were more tempting than the shopping. It was my time to get up when I wanted, eat what I wanted, when I wanted. It was my time to read a book, or stare into space or sleep. And I did. It felt great.

Having attended five funerals in two weeks also made me realize time is short and I needed to catch up with some friends I had not seen in a long time. Many years ago a young teenage girl spent a lot of time with us. She captured my heart. We still have a connection and so we met for the first time in two years. Even though our first connection was over 20 years ago, it was as if it were yesterday, and we could share our lives without skipping a beat. It was a meeting between young and old but age didn’t matter.

On my way home I stopped to have lunch with another friend. We share the same birthday. We share hearts. Time and distance doesn’t matter because we are still there for one another.

I caught up with my week away and I have plenty of catching up to do now that I am home, but the lessons I learned on my week away were valuable.

Family keeps my heart beating.

Friends keep my heart smiling.

New connections with new people, lead me on a path to open my heart for risking new friendships.

Rest is a must. Don’t be afraid to alone with yourself. You might actually discover new things about yourself that will give you energy to go forward and know that you can meet the challenges of the future. The important thing to remember is that we all need the time to sit in silence with ourselves.

I dedicate this blog post to family, new friends and old friends that helped me, catch-up with me.

St. Johns Ladies

  St. Johns Ladies

Joan and I at St. Johns

Joan and I at St. Johns

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With my friend Angie

With my friend Angie

My friend Donna

My friend Donna

 

 

Remember Mikey? Try It, You Might Like It? Life Cereal.

SOMETHING ABOUT NOTHING – published week of April 20, 2015 in the Albert Lea Tribune

Do you remember your parents telling you to eat your vegetables? They might have said, “You will like it. You just need to try it.” Or they might have told you that you will learn to like the taste.

I didn’t buy that theory until recently. Scrolling through Facebook and reading the alternative health magazines, I have contemplated joining the cider vinegar, honey and lemon craze. When I have a sore throat or a cold, my mom’s go-to remedy was lemon, honey and hot water. It seemed to do the trick if I was coughing. I wasn’t quite sure about adding cider vinegar to the mix.

I have a friend who uses essential oils along with the vinegar, honey and lemon. She swears by the warm drink in the morning. I was going to try the drink too but have been too lazy to do the mix.

One day I was browsing the health food section of the grocery store, and I came upon an already mixed cider vinegar and honey drink. It appears that all that is in the drink is cider vinegar and honey. I decided to try it. How easy was that? I just had to pull the bottle out of the fridge and pour a little into my glass, no mixing needed.

I let the bottle of vinegar and honey cool off in the refrigerator before trying it. Later in the day I took out a glass and poured the drink into the glass, only using a fourth of the glass. I didn’t want to overdo it the first time by sloshing down an entire glass of the liquid. I took a sip. My lip curled. I made a face. Those watching asked me what was wrong. I answered, “Nothing.” I took another sip. This time I didn’t breathe thinking that would help with taste. It didn’t.

I put the bottle back in the refrigerator wondering if this was something I wanted to do. It was supposed to make me healthier. I persevered day after day. I would wrinkle my nose, hold my breath and drink the concoction. And then, something amazing happened.

After two weeks of holding my nose and breath and making funny faces while drinking the concoction, I took a drink one day and my brain immediately relayed to me, “Um that was good.” I checked the bottle to make sure I was drinking the same stuff. Yup, the bottle and the drink inside hadn’t changed but my taste buds must have.

I thought about all those vegetables I didn’t like in my childhood — Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, broccoli — that are now my favorite vegetables over the corn, the carrots and the peas. In fact, now I lean more toward those I didn’t like and forgo those that I used to eat in my childhood.

Do our taste buds just adapt or do our bodies change, or what? I did some searching but didn’t come up with any scientific theory. I am sure there is one out there but I don’t hang out on the websites that actually teach you something of value. You know I am the fun and fluff person.

Why should it surprise me that something I thought was terrible actually became something good in my life? It happens all the time. It also happens with people. We form an impression and that impression stays with us. Our impression of someone might be formed by someone else’s observations or something we observe in a split moment. Because of that we don’t take the time to delve deeper and we write people off and out of our lives. Perhaps if we took a little time to try the flavor of a person’s personality we might actually like the taste.

Remember Mikey from the Life cereal commercials? “Try it, you might like it.” He was referring to cereal. Beyond liking my vinegar and honey, I have tasted friendships with people I might have turned away from after the first impression if I wouldn’t have taken another taste of their friendship. I might have missed the flavor in their personalities and how those flavors have enriched my life. So remember: try it, you might like it.

“Variety’s the very spice of life that gives it all its flavor.” — William Cowper