I Lied!

it is what it isToday on my Facebook Author page I posted that I was going to go to my local library and write. I feel privileged they have given me my own bookcase and they share my books with our readers. That’s the Wells Public Library.

I have been in a funk lately so my detailed life came to a stop. The problem with ignoring the details in a life,  they don’t go away they just pile up and wait for you. I shared in a an earlier post I have days when  it is hard to start my day and I need to find something positive to help me get moving. Today my positive was that I woke up refreshed with energy in my head and body. Maybe I needed to ignore those details for a few days or weeks so my brain could wake up again.

Today I posted on my author page  I was going to write but guess what– I lied. It wasn’t an intentional lie it was what I planned on doing, but all of a sudden I felt like tackling my desktop, sorting all my greeting cards and filing them so I could find the right one to send out to the right person at the right time and….wait for it…I am going to tackle my email accounts and clean it up and start reading my emails that I have ignored. Again, another detail I couldn’t handle for a short time.

Something in my heart, a whisper perhaps as I was writing my gratitude journal and praying this morning, told me I needed to do this. Oh…and I also admitted I needed help and called a Quickbooks Accountant to help me get organized in that part of my life too. I always felt I didn’t need one with my meager earnings but even us small time earners should know what we are doing with our finances and I am a dreamer not a numbers person.

Lesson for today—-it’s ok to change your plans, just admit to your little white lie, and when we can’t see the pennies through the dimes–ask for help. And–forgive my mistakes in this post, I am not an editor and I feel ok with that and mistakes, but be assured when I write my mysteries I have editors.

I am soaring with hope today. I hope you are too.

Mother’s Always Have Your Back!

mom on hillGood Morning. mom2121jpg

Mother’s Day is approaching. How will you spend your day? I miss my mother. We didn’t always get along. We were both head strong people with very different personalities. As I have gotten older, I now realize why she was the way she was. Life changed her. My mother didn’t have an easy life, and I must admit, I probably didn’t make her life any easier.

She loved her grandkids and she loved me. She developed Alzheimer’s in her later years. The last two years of her life in the nursing home she was funny, cute, and a witty old woman. I suspect she was the person she was before life hit and responsibilities changed her.

I wish I could tell her all I now understand and say “I’m sorry,I didn’t understand”. She was a strong woman and when I was younger I didn’t want to be like my mom, but now I recognize that I want that strength. I want the keep-going attitude. She taught me that. In the last two years of her life she didn’t always know who I was, but I know that she would never choose to forget me. I chose to enjoy the humor and try and guess who I would be in her mind each time I visited her.

When my mother died I was going through an upsetting time in my life. She knew nothing about this.  The last evening I visited, where she fell ill hours later, she said to me, not knowing I was going through a tough time, “God knew what he was doing. He has a plan and it will all work out.” My mother never talked about God. This was an unusual thing for her to say and I knew that she was going to leave our world and leave me. I was right, I got the call hours later. She went from the healthy woman I visited earlier in the evening to being ready to leave this earth will an illness.

I was an only child. My mother, in spite of our differences and our arguments, always had my back, and I always had hers. We spent every Christmas, every Easter and every Mother’s Day together. Some of those holidays it was only for a few hours but I never missed one holiday with my mom in her 93 years.

I miss her. I hear her whispers when I need courage. I wish I had showed her more respect and more love. On this Mother’s Day, spend time with your mother. Make your mother feel special so you don’t have any regrets. A mother is your biggest fan and your biggest supporter. She will be honest and tell you when you are making mistakes. You might not always like what she says, but she will always have your back, and that includes being honest about your behavior. A mother will risk your wrath to change your life or make it better. A mother is love and when your mother is gone, you will never know another love like that in your life, but your will pass that love along to your children. Happy Mother’s Day. Take time to make your mother feel cherished always.

Ryan and Grandma Young1                  mom22