What is a Readers Responsibility

I am a writer. I write books, newspaper articles and an opinion column. I am also a reader. I love to read. I must admit I like fiction better than history. I like romance better than war. I like Cozy Mysteries better than gore and violence.

I also feel as a writer and a reader it is important to leave reviews of those books and articles I have read. As a writer I also receive reviews on what I have written. As I was reading those reviews some great, some good and some not to good I started thinking about my responsibility as a reader when leaving those reviews. How can I  give a review that describes my feelings about a book, especially if it is one I am not fond of, without being destructive and brutal.

We’ve all had those destructive and brutal reviews. It could be our writing is not up to snuff but as I investigated my reviews and the reviews of other authors, I found that many of the brutal reviews, even for best selling books have a piece of the story about the person doing the reviewing that is not being told.

When Oprah had her book club, this was before the Kindle, I would buy some of the books Oprah recommended. She loved the books and her fans did too. Without mentioning any of the names of the books, I will tell you that more times than not I did not like the books. They were best sellers but I would read them and they left me flat. This was before it was so easy online to review books. If I had been reviewing them on Amazon I would have had to look hard and long for honesty in my review. Did I not like the books because they weren’t any good or they weren’t well written? No, I did not like the books because they weren’t the type of book I usually would read. It would not have been fair of me to trash the book and give it a bad rating. The fault was not in the book but in the choice of a book for me to read.

I recently ordered some tea for a gift for a person. I didn’t take the time to look at the description of the tea. I, who know nothing about tea, thought the name sounded cool so I ordered it. It turned out it was tea smoked with Pine Tar and we thought we could actually smoke ribs with this tea. Other people raved about the tea. It was not the right type of tea for the person that was receiving it. Was it the fault of it being bad tea, no. It was the fault of the person that ordered it and that happened to be me. I did not pay attention when looking for a tea. I got excited about name and not a description.

I have learned, when ordering tea and when ordering a book on Amazon or downloading a free book, I need to check the description, length of the read or flavor of the product and then make a choice. I still read some books I normally would not read. Occasionally I will pick up a history or geography or something very out of my realm. Recently I downloaded a book from Amazon. It cost me $4.99. It was the work of an author I had previously read. I absolutely did not like the book because of the content. Did I ask for my money back? No. I made the choice. Did I leave a bad review. No. I felt I had to be fair. I gave it a three and explained it probably deserved better but it was not the type of book I normally read or liked and if someone liked that genre of book it probably deserved a better rating.

Then there are the books that I start reading but do not finish. If that happens I usually do not leave a review at all. However if I see it as a book problem I will find the author and email them and discuss it with them. Maybe I am wrong. If I can’t reach the author and I do leave a review I usually explain gently my feelings about the book.

When buying a book online I would offer this advice to readers. Check out the book details, check out the reviews. If you see a bad review, check out the reviewer. This has to do with the there is more to the story that I mentioned above. It has been my experience that the bad review has more to do with the fact the reader doesn’t like that type of book. If you look at the readers reviews check out the books they gave high reviews vs the ones that got low reviews. You may find there is a pattern. There are also the reviewers that trash every book they read. Before you exclude a book that you had previously been excited about owning, look into the entire story behind the reviewer.

I have asked myself at times when looking at someone’s reviews when they had trashed a book, why they had even chosen that book to read because it was clear it wasn’t what they liked. I might add if you are one of those that leaves a scathing review with no tact, think about the person on the other end of the review. What if it were you and it were your book? Does it may you feel good to make someone feel bad? Authors have pretty thick skins but it doesn’t mean once in a while that the barb hits. There are times criticism in a review as long as it is tactful and constructive is a good thing.

Just a little musing as I was leaving a review. The next time you choose a book, check out the details. Is a mystery? Is for kids or adults? Does it have enough pages for you? Does it contain any type of material that you would not like? Know the facts before your buy.

cropped-collage.jpgThe next time you read a book and you leave a review I challenge you to ask yourself what your responsibility is as a reader. Is it to bash and trash, fling and sting or heighten and enlighten? Only you know for sure.

On The Road To Iowa!

Something About Nothing – Column for Albert Lea Tribune, March 17, 2014

On the road again. Just can’t wait to get on the road again. iowa photo: Iowa Iowa.png

Those words from the Willie Nelson song rumbled through my head as we prepared for a trip to Iowa for a weekend of fun with our son and his children. We had not been across the border, down south, well, a little down south, since the beginning of October. Every time we prepared to get on the road again, we had a snowstorm.

I want to share a few thoughts with you about our visit traveling across the Minnesota border to outside of Des Moines. I always find experiences when I travel that direction or at least something that makes me laugh and wonder.

I gave thanks when I stepped out of my car and I could remove my winter jacket and walk around a house on the dormant grass.

I learned that I need to brush up on my Xbox skills so my grandson doesn’t keep beating me in “Madden NFL” and some other crafty game. Of course, it would have helped had he actually explained what I was supposed to be doing and what the buttons meant on the controller.

The first game we played, which I can’t remember the name, his character blasted me right at the beginning, time and time again, and, yes, I quit in protest of not knowing how to play. My goal, I will learn and conquer and surprise him in the future.

I reinforced my opinion of some drivers on the interstate. Some drivers really are idiots.

I know I must remember the correct name of Orange Leaf frozen yogurt. My grandkids think it’s funny because I always call it Orange Peel. The yogurt tastes the same no matter whether you call the place Orange Leaf or Orange Peel. It is yummy.

It is possible when you wake up in the morning and are in a new community, and you realize you can’t stand your hair one more day, that you can walk into a salon and find a stylist that cuts and styles your hair exactly as you wanted it. When panic mode hits and your normal stylist is hundreds of miles away, there is someone who can save you.

Attending the “Mr. Peabody & Sherman” movie I noticed the adult men were laughing louder at some of the nuances in the movie than the children. I wondered how many of those subtle comments my young grandchildren would remember and ask later on what they meant. Why do movies for kids now have to have suggestive comments in them for adults?

It is possible to meet new friends in strange places. Another grandmother and I bonded at our grandchildren’s gymnastic practice over exercise. We decided the frog hop and the “pull the pad by your toes as you crawl across the floor” — we didn’t know the real name for the exercise — would be perfect for us to try at home. We agreed we wouldn’t let anyone else watch us. We decided to skip the upside-down-against-the-wall exercise as we felt we are a little balance challenged and our heads are dizzy enough without turning upside down. The strange thing about talking to this new friend was that it felt as if we had known each other a long time. I hope we meet up again.

I came away from a conversation about Sunday school with my grandchildren wondering why we don’t take kids’ advice when they have suggestions for making learning in Sunday school more interesting. They have some good ideas.

I concluded that unless we can figure out a way to turn off the electronics it is going to be a hard sell to turn children into readers in this gadget world of ours. Thank goodness for teachers who assigns their class reading assignments where the kids have to read at least 20 minutes every evening. Maybe in that short space of time something will spark a love for reading so they want to put aside their gadgets and get lost in the words and pages of books.

I learned on this trip that my 11-year-old granddaughter is a good cook. Not only can she cook, she makes it look like the enticing food on the cooking shows. My mouth still is watering from her scrumptious French toast and strawberries and cream.  She, unlike me, has the patience to stand and nurture what is cooking instead of walking away and ignoring it until she thinks it is done. She taught me that if she can be patient while cooking, I can too.

As we traveled the road back to Minnesota in the nighttime hours, I became aware of the number of people who have died on the freeway this year in the state of Iowa. Signs over the freeway in the darkness at various points in the road flashed those numbers and warned us to drive safely.

As we came back to Minnesota that night I looked at the beautiful stars in the sky and the brightness of the landscape at night because of the snow and marveled at the differences a few hours can make in our lives.

I thought back to my experiences during the weekend and was filled with wonder at how many experiences small and large that we travel through in our lifetime. The tiny pieces of moments and experiences weave together to change something about us, however small. We may not notice, but we are changed by the moments not just the hours and days.

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” — Wayne Dyer

I’m Not Too Old For A Pillow Pet!

0310_peaceful_bear_Column: Something About Nothing, by Julie Seedorf  Published in the Albert Lea Tribune and The Courier Sentinel week of March 8, 2014

I have a Pillow Pet. I asked for a Pillow Pet for Christmas. The name of my Pillow Pet is Peaceful Bear. Peaceful Bear is a rainbow of colors with a peace symbol on his paw. He was a gift from my Granddaughter and Grandson.

For those of you that don’t know what a Pillow Pet is I will explain.  Pillow Pets were invented by the Telfer family. The children of the Telfer family would take their stuffed animals to bed and try to squish them up and use them as a Pillow, but they were too hard. So the Telfer family invented their Pillow Pet which has Velcro straps that bundle the stuffed animal up like a Pillow so you can use it to sleep. The first Pillow Pet was Snuggly Puppy. From the first years of Pillow Pets the product line has expanded to Glow Pets, Dream Lite and other items along the same venue.

Pillow Pets were made for children. I am possibly in my second childhood. I have been buying Pillow Pets for my grandchildren since their invention. I do want to say I have found that the knock off brands can’t compare to the real thing. I didn’t test the Pillow Pets when I bought them. I thought they were adorably cute. They come in many different varieties with names and cuteness of different animals.

I happened to be staying at my son’s and forgot my pillow. I picked up the Viking Pillow Pet and used it for my night’s stay. I didn’t want to give it back. It was soft and cuddly and I slept great. It scrunched up perfectly for my head. I wallowed in its softness. I wanted to take it home. I tried to talk my granddaughter out of this pillow, after all they have more. It didn’t work.

I came back home to my regular pillows. I like feather pillows but a couple of years ago they decided they didn’t like me and they added to my discomfort with my nose at night. I had to switch to foam pillows but I never could find one that let me sleep like a baby. I tried all sorts of brands. I finally settled on a Sleep Number pillow that I do like because it has air inside. I can adjust it to be harder or softer. I must admit I haven’t tried the My Pillow. That was going to be my next step to a better night’s sleep.

Every time I visited my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren I asked for the Pillow Pet. Perhaps it also because I have never gotten over my love of stuffed animals. I have given most of my stuffed pals away over the years but there are some that forever will live in my heart and my home, such as my first teddy bear. He is now at least sixty years old but I can’t call him cuddly because bears in the olden days were cute but kind of hard.

I have taken quite a ribbing because of my love for the stuffed creatures over time. Apparently as an older adult, my love for these cute stuffed creatures is supposed to go away. It didn’t happen in my case.

Christmas came along and I had forgotten my request when asked what I wanted for Christmas. Most people in my family hadn’t taken me seriously anyway. My grandchildren did. I was so excited when I took Peaceful Bear out of the box. Peaceful Bear has given me a good night’s sleep. Not only that, when I look at peaceful bear he makes me feel better. When I am sad or tired I usually snuggle a live cat but now I can also hug Peaceful Bear. His colors brighten my mood.

If you are an adult reading this, I give you permission to huggle and snuggle with a soft and cuddly stuffed creature, although my permission doesn’t mean a thing. I don’t have authority to give permission on huggling and snuggling with a stuffed animal friend.  I can advise you to find one that speaks to your heart. Feel it’s softness as you take a nap, snuggle in for a good read or a good television show or use the Velcro strap and let it adorn your bed or your couch. It might even make a good companion for your cat or dog to snuggle on. Like Mikey from the old Life cereal commercials, try it, you might like it.

Peaceful Bear makes me feel peaceful. Mother Teresa said that peace begins with a smile. Peaceful Bear also makes me smile and how can anyone go wrong with that?