Do I Wail or Whine About Empty Nest Syndrome?

Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf published the week of June 16, 2014 in http://www.albertleatribune.com and the Courier Sentinel

Whining and wailing were the words that were the topic of a discussion recently on a Facebook page of writers. We were all listing our pet peeves about writing and the words that are over used in books.

For instance, I have a habit of writing the way I talk. I say “so” and “that” often and other words I use that do not contribute to the story and bog it down with extra words. Thank goodness for editors that — I mean, who — occasionally take me to task for adding those words.

This day the discussion centered around books where people used the word “wailed,” which means to make a mournful cry or a high-pitched noise. The other word in the discussion was whining, used in books to describe a character or what the character is saying. There are characters that whine through the entire book.

As I was taking part in this discussion I realized I have been whining quite a bit lately. I have been whining about wanting to move closer to my children who are the parents of my grandchildren. I have been whining about being closer to a coffeehouse so I do not have to drive 20 miles to have my latte and pull out my computer to write. There is something about coffeehouses that sparks the creativity in me.

I have thought that my whining was actually about living in a bigger city. After spending a busy weekend with my family, and in a bigger community, I realized that perhaps my whining was more about still suffering from empty-nest syndrome. That realization was a surprise to me since I haven’t had any children in that nest for at least 15 years.

I have settled into a routine: Watch my own television programs, hibernate in the winter and do the normal everyday things. What I have come to realize is that if I don’t have frequent contact with people younger than me, I get more set in my ways and I feel older. If I don’t physically engage in conversation with young minds, my world doesn’t expand as much. There is so much to be learned from the youth of today.

It seems that if there are no young people in my home, it is easier to not take part in the youth activities in my community. If I don’t have a connection with a young person, then even though I may go to those activities, I am still a bystander. Where there is no encouragement to take part it is easier to settle into a shuttered life.

Visiting the city I also recognize the opportunities there are for older people. You can get lost in a big city, too, but there are also senior community groups such as the one at the Chaska Community Center that are active daily, have weekly activities and trips long and short each week.

The seniors have their own part of the building and daily there is something happening for older adults to get out and socialize with others of their age and also with the younger people in and about the community center.

I like being part of a small close-knit community where neighbors help neighbors. That is the richness of living in a small town. If I walk out my door I can guarantee that no matter where I go in my community I will meet someone I know. I like the quietness of a small town and I can wallow in that quietness, perhaps too much.

So I have been whining, caught between the richness of my community, and a place where I have lived most of my life, and wanting to expand my world to try the big city and all it offers.

Family is a big part of that exploring the big city feeling for me. It is about empty-nest syndrome and missing watching my children’s plays and basketball games. I am missing the daily rush to get done with supper and get the kids where they need to be for their schedules. It is missing what I learned each day from my children. It is missing the cute stuff they say and the laughter of having a family in the house.

Those of us who have children have all went through it. I can’t imagine I am the only mom who is the age I am and still missing the daily grind with kids. Perhaps it is about remembering my youth and the family that I was surrounded by, aunts, uncles, cousins and missing that connection, too.

Do I wallow and whine and wail or do I accept where I am placed? Do I, or I should say we, the other half of the empty-nest syndrome person, spread our wings and move closer to our kids and grandkids so we can enjoy the hustle and bustle of their sports, their music, their young lives?

I have to think, like the dialogue in a book, that my whining and wailing is getting repetitive. Is it time to edit the dialogue of my life?

Living An Ordinary Life? Never.

Archie Baumann was born in a log cabin in Bagley, Minnesota in Clearwater County. You might ask Archie Baumann? Who is Archie Baumann?archie and vi
Archie Baumann is one of those people who has lived an ordinary life. He is one of those people who normally doesn’t make the newspaper, but there is a story in every life, and this is Archie Baumann’s story.
Baumann grew up in Bagley, Minnesota. His mother died when he was five years old and his grandfather lost the family farm in 1936. Times were hard. Archie didn’t go to high school. He went to CCC Camps which stand for Civilian Conservation Corp.
Civilian Conservation Corps began March 31, 1933 and was particularly active in Minnesota. Men 18 – 25 years old could enlist in CCC Camps and work in a military style environmental camp. Enlistees were paid $30 a month to build roads, plant trees, hang telephone line and learn vital job skills.
According to Baumann $25.00 went back to your family and people got to keep $5.00 to spend any way they wanted. It was here that Archie started his hobby of drawing cartoons. He still has the first cartoon he created for the Deer Lake Echo, the camp newspaper. The camp was in Effy, Minnesota. The cartoons were printed on a mimeograph, a low cost printing press that works by forcing ink through a stencil.
As America was coming out of the depression, Baumann moved to Cleveland, Ohio to work in a Steel Mill. That is where Archie and Violet began their love story. Although Archie and Violet both grew up in Bagley, Violet commented “We didn’t chum together.” Violet also moved to Cleveland to work in a battery factory and according to both of them “It was a whirlwind courtship.”
Archie knew he was going to be drafted into the Army and he didn’t want to be drafted from Cleveland. He wanted to enlist in the Navy and move back to Bagley before he did this. He and Violet decided to get married. They visited the library to find the closet county to Cleveland that would marry them without a waiting period. They found that county and drove to Cumberland, Maryland from Cleveland to get married.
Any wedding can’t happen without a couple of stories. Along the way Archie and Violet picked up a hitchhiker. Archie describes that experience. “This is one of the fun things that happened on the trip. It was a hot July day. We decided to pick up a hitchhiker. In those days it wasn’t unusual to find hitchhikers and to pick one up. He was a smart aleck, he knew everything. I was getting tired of it and his hat blew out the window. So I pulled over and let him go get his hat. He got out and went back to get his hat and I took off. I suppose he’s still waiting out there.” Baumann finished the story with a chuckle.
Archie related another story that happened on their way back to Cleveland after their wedding. “One of the first things I learned after getting married was that I didn’t know how to feed a bride. She got hungry as we were driving back to Cleveland. I stopped at a little Pa and Ma gas station and picked up what I thought would be a nice little lunch – bananas and orange pop. That didn’t go good at all. And I haven’t cooked a meal since.”
After the wedding, the Baumann’s moved back to Bagley where Archie enlisted in the Navy. He was stationed in Okinawa and was on the island when the United States dropped the bombs on Hiroshima.
After the Navy, Baumann came back to Bagley to raise his family with his wife Violet. They have five children, Karen, Debbie, Kay, Connie and Dennis, 14 grandchildren and many great grandchildren. Bauman commented that they have 50 direct descendants.
Baumann worked various jobs over the years but his 20 year stint at the Minnesota Farmer’s Union gave him the readers for his cartoons, which were published in the Farmer’s Union Newspaper. That also led to his cartoons being featured in the Minnesota Senior News and the Minnesota Board of Aging. Archie’s love of cartooning, continued long after he retired, publishing his cartoons in his own books for his family and friends.
After retirement, the Baumann’s moved to Wells and spent many hours volunteering for the Wells Area Food Shelf and helping in the community. They now reside in Janesville.
Baumann has never taken any art classes but his self-taught skill is evident in his cartoons whose subjects range from editorial comments to parenting and family. His favorite cartoon is one of two little boys in front of the television watching the six o’clock news. One boy says to the other boy: “If the President would send our Grandmother over there, they would stop fighting.”
Archie commented, “Drawing was fun. Thinking of new ideas was the tough part.”
Although Archie’s hands have stiffened and slowed and drawing is harder now, the ideas still come strong into his mind and he will leave behind a legacy of cartoons and ideas that will live on forever.
When asked to sum up his life, it wasn’t a final comment about his talent; it was a comment of love for this country. “One thing I say about my life is that the last 90 years I have been around have been the best 90 years for the country, in spite of the depression and all the other hazards and wars. We’ve got a pretty good life in this country.”

Snicklefritz! A New Book! Another Grandma In Trouble.

After months of writing and agonizing, my new young reader book Snicklefritz is out on Amazon for the Kindle. The paper back version will be out in a couple of weeks. Yes, this one I published myself. It is in honor of the love I feel for  my Grandchildren. I decided to do it myself because I have full control that way. You know how I love control. It is not perfect. I did have it edited but the first time I uploaded it the spacing was wrong, not on my document but something got lost in translation.

I hope you will forgive the mistakes if you are older, young at heart, and decide to read it. I hope you can read between the lines and see the love and the heart in this book. I had to go with my gut on this one. It is what it is, a labor of love in honor of my grandchildren.

Read on and for those of you that write, write on. Don’t let your fears get in your way.

And remember my books with Cozy Cat Press in the Fuchsia, Minnesota Series. The Grannies are busy. http://www.amazon/dp/B00KTKVLHW

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