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Church? Sports? Priorities Have Changed.

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Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf published in the Albert Lea Tribune week of September 28, 2015

Times have changed since I was young. Religion has taken a backseat to other worldly things in our priorities.IMG_3385

After attending church one Wednesday evening I pondered all the changes that have taken place in the way people worship since I grew up.

In the “olden days” it wasn’t an option to not go to church on Sundays. As kids we didn’t miss anything because the community I grew up in did not schedule sports or other activities during church time. It didn’t matter what religion you were, respect was shown to the religious community.

During my high school days we had what was called “release time,” which was time during the week we were allowed out of school for an hour  to go to our respective churches to learn more about God and our religion. We also had the option of staying in school and having a study hall. Most opted for the religion and I admit sometimes it was just to get out of school, and occasionally we headed for a different church than ours because they were doing something more interesting such as addressing the “sex” topic which wasn’t discussed much in those days — and our parents expected us to attend release time. In fact, I think you had to have a signed note to stay in school and in study hall, but I’m not sure about that because occasionally the memory is weak.

Wednesday evenings were set aside for churches, and there were no activities scheduled in school during these evenings so as to not interfere with the churches. This was called respect.

While raising my kids, church came first and activities came second on the days we had church plans. At that time the conflict was setting in with other activities, but most parents made the choice for their kids that church attendance came first.

I realized when reading a blog by a friend how easy we had it as parents in my day when deciding what was happening for our children on Sunday mornings. Did they always want to attend church or church activities, absolutely not, but they went because as parents that was our priority. Now there is so much pressure put on parents on what to prioritize in their life.

I share with permission this blog post by Kristin Lotthammer, CFM coordinator at Zion Lutheran Church in Buffalo, Minnesota. She shares her personal story of the pull of other activities on her church and family life.

 

I would like to share my personal story with you.

Last fall, I had registered my son to play fall lacrosse. When I received the game schedule, I was crushed. Almost all the game times fell right during Sunday morning worship times. At that moment, I had to step back and think … priorities. What really matters to my family, my child? He loves playing lacrosse. How could I tell him he couldn’t play on the team because I was going to prioritize church first? Values, morals, values, morals … kept running through my mind and heart. So, I had a talk with my husband and son. We were all in agreement, God comes first!

I emailed the coach and the lacrosse organization and told them I needed to pull my son from the team. I gave the simple reason that church is still No. 1 in our home, and game times on Sunday mornings were not going to work for us. Guess what, I wasn’t the only parent out there with the concern that sports are creeping into our Sunday mornings way too often! Not long after my email was sent, there was a change. A lot of the game times had been changed to Sunday afternoons. Wow, I thought! What a great organization! They listened and cared!

All we have to do is kindly speak up and sometimes that will help.

I challenge you and your family this year to think about priorities and what really matters in your home. Our children are watching and learning from what we do.

 

Kirsten’s column moved me by her courage to stand up for what she believed in. I am not sure I would have been able to do that in today’s world. If kids miss a game or practice for church they are penalized, so of course parents don’t want their kids to feel the pressure of their choices.

We live in a diverse world, and I feel we should respect each other’s values and religious beliefs. I would imagine all religions have this problem when it comes to choices for their children.

Churches have changed the way they are teaching the younger generation because the priorities of parents have changed. Many churches now offer alternative times for worship to accommodate sports and school activities. I still wonder why it still shouldn’t be the other way around. And let’s be honest, extracurricular sports and activities are important, but how many kids actually will be the next famous athlete or star?

I don’t know the right answer. All I know is that things have changed and I am thankful I didn’t have to make the choices parents have to make today. I do know I am grateful my parents made the choices they did when it came to my faith, because when I struggle or am joyful it is where I turn through thick or thin. I don’t know where I would be if that would not have been my parents priority.

 

Change It Up!

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Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00069]My book Something About Nothing has been out for a few months. I felt the cover didn’t convey the heart of the book. It is a book meant to be read little by little. It is a book of my thoughts and my meanderings that I put on paper and used for my column in the Albert Lea Tribune and other Southern Minnesota newspapers. With my writing I want to leave my readers with fuel for the day, with inspiration to go on with their life and with moments that we all share in our lives that bond us together to make the world a better place. Some of the chapters are silly and some are serious. Here is one of the chapters from the book. Feel free to share and tell people there really is Something About Nothing. In the nothings we speak every day there is something in our hearts needing to be said. Oh an don’t panic if the old cover is on the print book. Amazon is working on this. There is snafu in what it is showing.

CRYING

I have writer’s block this week. There are weeks when I can think of a thousand things to write about. Ok maybe a few dozen. There are weeks when I think about those few dozen things and don’t put them to paper right away. I then forget the thousand things or few dozen things that I thought about. This happens to be one of those weeks. I think it is called old age.

Today, the only thing I can think to write about is crying because I have been crying this week. Ok, I admit it. I do cry. I have been crying this week because I have felt happy. I have been crying this week because I have felt sad and mad. I have been crying this week because I have watched tear jerker movies and cried with friends who were also sad. I have been crying this week for no reason. I have been crying this week because of injustice in this world. As you have gathered, this has been a crying week. I am not going to apologize for that. I always feel better after I cry. I feel stronger and I am always ready to move on.

Lesley Gore sang, “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to, I’ll cry if I want to. You would cry, too, if it happened to you.” I think we should all follow her instructions. If you want to cry, then let it all out. It is okay to cry, as long as you can quit crying at some point. If you can’t, then it is time to ask for help.

In the 50s and 60s, many artists wrote songs about crying. Some of them are: “Crying In The Rain,” “Don’t Cry For Me,” “All My Tears,” “Tears On My Pillow,” “Don’t Cry Out Loud,” “Crying,” to name a few. We loved those songs. They put words to our feelings.

I remember someone telling me once a long time ago that crying never solved anything. I tried to follow that advice when I was younger. I remember walking down the aisle after my dad’s funeral. I had been told that I had to be strong for my mom. I was pregnant, my dad died, and I was being strong, no tears. All of a sudden, I heard someone crying. I heard someone sobbing her heart out. To my surprise, it was me. You see, I had been strong. At the most unexpected moment, the dam broke and I could not hold back my tears. It wasn’t what I planned. It wasn’t the way I chose to behave in public, it just happened beyond my control. I felt so much better afterward. I could then be strong. The advice I wish I would have received was “Cry, let it all out.” Perhaps that would have been better than scaring everyone as I walked out of church.

I know we whine a lot, at least I do. But would we possibly whine less if we could have a good cry and get it all out? A couple of movies I saw this weekend featured the main character sobbing on her friend’s shoulders. How many of us do that? When was the last time you let yourself cry with someone? It’s okay if someone calls you a crybaby. It means that you have an outlet for your emotions. Maybe if we allowed ourselves to have a good cry, we would have less anger and violence in the world. There is some part about crying that is healthy. My opinion only. I have no idea what the experts would tell you.

And for men who are reading this, it takes a strong man to show his feelings and cry. You are not weak if you cry. You are strong because you are not afraid to own what you feel.

Before I go and weep a little more, I leave you with this paragraph. Remember “It’s My Party,” so you can cry if you want to. Maybe I’ll see you “Crying In The Chapel.” If I meet you and you are “Crying In The Rain,” I will give you an umbrella and a handkerchief. “Don’t Let Your Teardrops Be Lonely.” It’s not true that if you “Cry, You’ll Cry Alone.” There might be “Tears On My Pillow” or even yours, but “As The Tears Go By,” for a while after the “Crying” there will be “No More Tears.”

“Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.” (Author unknown

I Asked! She Answered! What Happens When Too Much Is Too Much For An Author?

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11209372_998425863514645_2357865428716480350_nI will admit it, I was frazzled trying to promote my books. Don’t get me wrong, I love promotion but there didn’t seem to be enough hours and my life was in pieces. I finally gave up and knew I needed help. I acknowledged I couldn’t do it all. I was not superwoman.

In case you didn’t know, I am the author of the Fuchsia Minnesota Cozy Mystery Series involving a fictional town in Minnesota, and an over-the-top Granny and her friends. I also write a weekly column which I also have turned into a book and…..I have a children series that also tugs on the hearts of adults because it reminds them of the feelings they might have left buried for many years. And…I must clean my house occasionally and visit my grandchildren and children. You notice my grandchildren are always mentioned before my children these days. That should tell you something.

For an author there is always another book or two or three being worked on. I found I was spinning out of control trying to keep up with letting people know I was out there and continuing on in my writing. I was burning out.

My publishing company, Cozy Cat Press, does help with some of the promotion, but as with most writers these days, the bulk of promotion is up to them.

With my Something About Nothing book and my children’s books, I tried to do it all myself at first. Big mistake. As I was reaching the bottom of the mountain and feeling myself sinking into the nearby sea I knew I had to do something different. That something different came in the way of Annie Sarac and her business The Editing Pen. She brought me up the mountain and back to the top so I could continue what I love doing best–writing.

I hired Annie to edit my Pageflex Persona [document: PRS0000039_00069]Something About Nothing book. I realized that I didn’t know everything I thought I did about writing. She polished up the manuscript and gave me some suggestions, of which I ignored and that was about the book cover. She said it didn’t tell people anything about the heart and soul of the book. Well friends, I learned a valuable lesson–always listen to my editor. I just changed the cover. I also used Annie to polish my Granny Snows A Sneak before I sent it to my publisher. She took care of the this, and the that’s, and the and’s I am so famous for.

I asked if she would be interested in doing some promotion work for me. I thought she would be the perfect person with her business to know where I needed to be in the media. Annie has not disappointed me. I cannot tell you the relief I felt having to be away from my computer a few days knowing the promotion was taken care of.

Why am I writing this? I want to thank Annie for the great job she is doing for me. And I want to promote her and her business. I have never met her personally but I feel as if I know her.  She has a great background of credentials and she is starting her business from scratch, working her way back into the media world. She believed in me and I believe in her.

I also want to make the point, as authors, we are occasionally expected to take care of everything ourselves when it comes to promoting us. I find it hard to brag about me (I know I may not give that impression). I also find it hard to asking for help because I want to be superwoman.

I also know what it is like to be new and starting out and trying to build a business. I would not have had my computer business that I retired from recently, or my writing career, if others would not have taken a chance on someone new. Bruce Lorenz did that for me with computers, Tim Engstrom and The Albert Lea Tribune did that for me with my column, and Cozy Cat Press did that for me with writing.  We become so ingrained in seniority and experience that we forget we were once inexperienced in our business and the only way we could move ahead was if someone believed in giving us a chance.

I asked, she answered and it is a good connection. If you are feeling frazzled and need help, give The Editing Pen a try. She tailor makes plans to what works for you.

No man is an island and neither is a woman. By reaching out for help you may find blessings coming into your life you didn’t know were possible. Thank you Annie of The Editing Pen.11048645_996381253719106_4106219762973711992_o

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