Listen And You Shall Hear?

Column: Something About Nothing  published in the Albert Lea Tribune and Courier Sentinel week of January 13, 2014

My granddaughter got a cellphone for Christmas. She is 11 and a very responsible young lady. I was excited because now I could text her and actually call and talk to her directly. I didn’t have to wait for the right time and for her to be with her father so I could talk to her.

My other granddaughter got an iPod with texting ability for Christmas. I was probably more excited than the girls were, because I didn’t have to rely on their parents anymore for communication with my granddaughters. Since they live hours away, I don’t have the joy of being a grandmother where my grandchildren can drop in for a visit on a whim.

I make sure I send a text in the morning wishing my granddaughters a good morning and I also send one at night. I always receive a response. Occasionally I add a cute little saying. As I was pounding out a message on the keys of my cellphone one day I thought about my childhood and my kids’ teenage years. I wondered how our young people today would tolerate the kind of communication that I or my children had.

I was a chatty child and I still am a chatty adult. My friends would call or I would call when we were in grade school. We only were able to talk for a few minutes before a neighbor would come on the party line and tell us they wanted to use the phone.

If a neighbor or an operator didn’t break in on us when we were having a long conversation we would become suspicious and listened for the clicks to see if we could hear anyone listening in on our phone conversations. We didn’t want to say anything that we didn’t want anyone else to hear.

That didn’t mean we didn’t think it wasn’t fun to pretend to hang up and be very quiet so we could listen to what are neighbors were saying. I know we are concerned now with our privacy, but back then there was no privacy either because everyone was snooping quietly on the telephone line.

I was lucky. I was an only child and the only people I had to compete with for wanting the phone were my parents, but in households with many kids and especially teenagers, they all had to compete for time on that one phone.

When my kids lived in our household we may have had more than one phone in the house but we didn’t have caller ID, so we didn’t know when the phone rang who the call was for. I still remember all the hollering up and down the stairs calling the person to the phone. We also were tethered to the phone. We did have the convenience of long cords, but we didn’t have the convenience of cordless phones. Now I can’t stand being tethered to a wall phone.

With cellphones, everyone in the household each seems to have their own. We can call, text, Facetime and whatever, without the others in the household knowing we are on the phone. We can get in touch with our kids wherever they are, if they answer the phone. Many times when I call my kids they don’t answer, but they answer their texts right away. When my grandchildren are teenagers and go out and about, my kids will be able to be in touch with them.

I can imagine the sleepless nights my parents had when I missed curfew. Maybe I can imagine my parents worry because I had kids that missed curfew or weren’t where they said they were supposed to be when I checked on them. Not only could I not check on them unless they were at a house that had a phone, I couldn’t look them in the face and give them the look to get the point across like we can do now with Facetime or Skype.

What about the wife that used to go on the day long shopping trip and didn’t want her husband to know what city and what shops she was in?

I think of the commercial that is out now for Fleet Farm and the Big Boys Toyland. The husband is going ice fishing and the wife is going to the spa. They could have tracked each other’s cellphones and not be surprised to find each other at Fleet Farm instead of fishing or the spa.

In the olden days that didn’t happen. I wonder how many bartenders back before cellphones wanted to rip the phones out of the wall to keep the wives from calling their husbands to come home. Now those wives have a direct line. Of course, it doesn’t mean the husbands answer or that the wives on a shopping trip don’t turn off their phone.

Life has gotten easier to track people down. We don’t have to wait for busy signals because now we have voicemail. We don’t have to lose our voice calling our kids to the phone and reminding them to get off of the phone because we need to use it. We don’t have to listen in on our neighbor’s phone conversations because they are probably having that conversation on Facebook, and they forgot to set their privacy settings so we can still snoop but with less of a chance at being caught. I must admit the phone game was still kind of fun back in the days.

Communication has gotten easier. I for one hope to use the texts I send to my grandchildren as a time to send them some positive vibes that may make their day a little brighter.

I wish I would have found the following positive quote earlier. I would have used it on my parents when they wanted the phone.

“Talking is always positive. That’s why I talk too much.” — Louis C.K.

Wells resident Julie Seedorf’s column appears every

Granny Gets Sticky Fingers

Granny_T-shirtThis blog received a note from Granny this morning. Granny. Granny being Hermiony Vidalia Criony Fiddlestadt from Fuchsia, Minnesota and the super sleuth in the book, Granny Hooks A Crook.

Here is what she had to say. It seems she gets herself into the most amazing situation.

“Just thought I’d check in. I wanted to give your readers little tip. If they want to fool someone into thinking they are older, tell them to spill super glue on their fingers. It does the trick. You will wrinkle very fast and you will stay wrinkled long enough to get your hand in and out of anything you want without them suspecting you are young. For instance if you are reaching into a hole to see if there is a clue inside and there is a camera taking a picture, they will see a very old hand. Perfect.  Unfortunately I don’t have  solution for you to unwrinkled your hand fast so you might want to hide out if your are caught until the super glue and wrinkles subside. Also I advise you not to use super glue on your face”

I also you aren’t misleading anyone  if you are questioned and you tell them you couldn’t help yourself from trying whatever you did. You could use this idea when borrowing candy or cookies out of a cookie bowl or candy bowl. The key line when getting caught and I would use it often is: “I couldn’t help myself I have sticky fingers.

I must go, thank you for passing on my note. I am busy with my next puzzling crime in Fuchsia, Minnesota. If you think I got into trouble with Granny Hooks A Crook, wait till you see what I do next.”

Granny

I want to thank Granny for visiting my blog and giving us her tips for troublemaking and excuses to use if you get caught. I do want to caution you to not pass these tips along to your children, use with caution and this blog is not responsible for any problems related to Granny’s advice. Don’t tell Granny I said this, I don’t think she takes time to read this blog. I would take Granny’s advice with a grain of salt and also caution you that trying this at home is not advised by this blogger.

 

Hermiony Vidalia Criony Fiddlestadt (Granny) New Years Resolutions

Granny_T-shirt

Hermiony resides in the fictional town of Fuchsia, Minnesota and Granny is the main character in the book Granny Hooks A Crook by Julie Seedorf.

Every year the citizens of Fuchsia are hounding me to make New Year’s Resolutions. In the interest of keeping the merchants I work for happy, I will do so this year.

  1. I will not let any more furry creatures adopt me this year.
  2.  When Franklin winks at me I will not blush.
  3.  I will give up donuts this year. Wait, it’s not Lent, I will not give up donuts this year.
  4. I will  practice the art of patience with my adult children. I am changing the locks on my door.
  5. I will make at least one trip a week to Red Hot Mama’s Boutique.
  6.  I will remember where my cars are this year. I will not lose them.
  7. I will try something new, perhaps skydiving at the Fuchsia Airport  or water skiing in Blue Bird Lake or snow skiing down Blue Bird Hill.
  8. I will help the Big Guy in new ways. Surprise is the mother of invention or something like that.
  9.  I will spy on my neighbors, especially the new ones that are moving in.
  10. I will laugh, I will mourn, I will love. What is a better resolution than that?

Did you know that they make spyglasses with camera’s?  That’s it, my last resolution. I will buy myself a spyglass with a camera so I can take better care of my neighbors.

Happy New Year and Foofidleyfa!