Tag Archives: creativity

What is a Readers Responsibility

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I am a writer. I write books, newspaper articles and an opinion column. I am also a reader. I love to read. I must admit I like fiction better than history. I like romance better than war. I like Cozy Mysteries better than gore and violence.

I also feel as a writer and a reader it is important to leave reviews of those books and articles I have read. As a writer I also receive reviews on what I have written. As I was reading those reviews some great, some good and some not to good I started thinking about my responsibility as a reader when leaving those reviews. How can I  give a review that describes my feelings about a book, especially if it is one I am not fond of, without being destructive and brutal.

We’ve all had those destructive and brutal reviews. It could be our writing is not up to snuff but as I investigated my reviews and the reviews of other authors, I found that many of the brutal reviews, even for best selling books have a piece of the story about the person doing the reviewing that is not being told.

When Oprah had her book club, this was before the Kindle, I would buy some of the books Oprah recommended. She loved the books and her fans did too. Without mentioning any of the names of the books, I will tell you that more times than not I did not like the books. They were best sellers but I would read them and they left me flat. This was before it was so easy online to review books. If I had been reviewing them on Amazon I would have had to look hard and long for honesty in my review. Did I not like the books because they weren’t any good or they weren’t well written? No, I did not like the books because they weren’t the type of book I usually would read. It would not have been fair of me to trash the book and give it a bad rating. The fault was not in the book but in the choice of a book for me to read.

I recently ordered some tea for a gift for a person. I didn’t take the time to look at the description of the tea. I, who know nothing about tea, thought the name sounded cool so I ordered it. It turned out it was tea smoked with Pine Tar and we thought we could actually smoke ribs with this tea. Other people raved about the tea. It was not the right type of tea for the person that was receiving it. Was it the fault of it being bad tea, no. It was the fault of the person that ordered it and that happened to be me. I did not pay attention when looking for a tea. I got excited about name and not a description.

I have learned, when ordering tea and when ordering a book on Amazon or downloading a free book, I need to check the description, length of the read or flavor of the product and then make a choice. I still read some books I normally would not read. Occasionally I will pick up a history or geography or something very out of my realm. Recently I downloaded a book from Amazon. It cost me $4.99. It was the work of an author I had previously read. I absolutely did not like the book because of the content. Did I ask for my money back? No. I made the choice. Did I leave a bad review. No. I felt I had to be fair. I gave it a three and explained it probably deserved better but it was not the type of book I normally read or liked and if someone liked that genre of book it probably deserved a better rating.

Then there are the books that I start reading but do not finish. If that happens I usually do not leave a review at all. However if I see it as a book problem I will find the author and email them and discuss it with them. Maybe I am wrong. If I can’t reach the author and I do leave a review I usually explain gently my feelings about the book.

When buying a book online I would offer this advice to readers. Check out the book details, check out the reviews. If you see a bad review, check out the reviewer. This has to do with the there is more to the story that I mentioned above. It has been my experience that the bad review has more to do with the fact the reader doesn’t like that type of book. If you look at the readers reviews check out the books they gave high reviews vs the ones that got low reviews. You may find there is a pattern. There are also the reviewers that trash every book they read. Before you exclude a book that you had previously been excited about owning, look into the entire story behind the reviewer.

I have asked myself at times when looking at someone’s reviews when they had trashed a book, why they had even chosen that book to read because it was clear it wasn’t what they liked. I might add if you are one of those that leaves a scathing review with no tact, think about the person on the other end of the review. What if it were you and it were your book? Does it may you feel good to make someone feel bad? Authors have pretty thick skins but it doesn’t mean once in a while that the barb hits. There are times criticism in a review as long as it is tactful and constructive is a good thing.

Just a little musing as I was leaving a review. The next time you choose a book, check out the details. Is a mystery? Is for kids or adults? Does it have enough pages for you? Does it contain any type of material that you would not like? Know the facts before your buy.

cropped-collage.jpgThe next time you read a book and you leave a review I challenge you to ask yourself what your responsibility is as a reader. Is it to bash and trash, fling and sting or heighten and enlighten? Only you know for sure.

Embrace Your Quirkiness!

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embrace it new signedSomething About Nothing, by Julie Seedorf published in the Albert Lea Tribune March 3, 2014

Recently I was browsing on the Internet and I came across an article on one of the Hollywood celebrity pages. The article had pictures of celebrities, women celebrities without their makeup. Next to their unmade-up faces were their public faces all glammed up.

The thought crossed my mind that it is no wonder we women and young girls have image problems, though I think that changes as women get older and feel more comfortable about knowing who they are. I wouldn’t recognize Sofia Vergara from “Modern Family” or Nicollette Sheridan from “Desperate Housewives” and “Knots Landing” fame without their makeup. Not that there is anything wrong with the way the celebrities look without their makeup, but the makeup does hide those age spots and wrinkles for some older celebrities that us older women seem to moan and groan about.

The article actually had a picture of Barbie from Barbie Doll fame without makeup. It made me wonder why they don’t have a Barbie without makeup. Would it not sell? There has been much hype about Barbie’s skinny figure and the thought that it give girls the wrong idea about what they should look like. I played with Barbie’s and I never once thought that I should have a figure like Barbie and I didn’t.

The article made me think back through my life and what influenced me when I was younger and trying to find out how to fit into my skin and the society I lived in. I wasn’t influenced by the movie stars or the dolls I played with. As I got older and lived in our society I was influenced by the people around me and their thoughts about the way things should be.

I am going to share a little about that today because I have to think there are more people that felt like I did. Possibly some of the younger adults feel out of place in their role in society now. I have found sharing our experiences may help someone else. I am not whining. I made the choices I did and let those opinions influence me. I wasn’t yet comfortable in my skin.

I love to paint. I like to do watercolor. I like to use acrylics. I like to paint birdhouses or anything I can get my hands on. I am not a conventional painter. I don’t do straight lines. I don’t paint beautiful scenery. If I did, it wouldn’t look like the work of Thomas Kinkaid and other beautiful artists. Many years ago there was a project to make lighthouses and sell them in church. It was a painting party.

Most of the people there painted these beautiful perfect lighthouses. I didn’t. I got creative with my painting, and I loved it, but I could tell by the comments that my lighthouse was not up to snuff. They didn’t outright tell me that they didn’t like it; it was the looks and the subtle comments. I bought my own lighthouses because I knew they didn’t live up to the expectations of others. I didn’t want to be crushed when no one bought them. After that experience, I quit painting for a long while because I felt less than adequate at the task.

The same could be said for my singing. In grade school it depended on what teacher I had as to what grade I got in singing. One year I actually got an A. The rest of the years I got a C. I started singing more as the years went on. I didn’t know whether I was an alto or a soprano. I found out I was an alto. I didn’t know how to find my notes. I was lucky enough at one point that the choir director in a choir helped me along and accepted me good or bad into choir. Because you see, one of the reasons I was shy about singing was because around that same time someone else told me I couldn’t be in their group because I wasn’t good enough. I hadn’t asked to be in that group. They assumed because my friends were in it that I wanted to be there. I didn’t, but that didn’t matter when I was made to feel that I didn’t measure up. It was like they were heading me off at the pass so I wouldn’t ask to join their group.

It wasn’t until one day a friend and I were out and about and having fun and we started singing for fun. This friend said to me, “You have a good voice.”

It was then I realized that it didn’t matter that I couldn’t join the group; I could still sing and feel good about it. I almost quit the other larger group I was in at that time because of one opinion.

I didn’t have enough faith in myself to not let these experiences bother me. I wanted to fit in. I wanted to belong. I wanted to be liked. I did it at the expense of stifling the talents I did have because they were different from those that society expected.

If you have a talent, if it is a crazy talent, if you see colors where others see black and white, embrace it. We need those talents too. And if you want to try something new and enjoy it, go for it. We don’t have to be good at everything. As long as we enjoy what we are creating, cute or ugly, it is creativity.

Recently my world has expanded to new friends in new places that embrace their talents. They, too, in their lives felt at times like they didn’t belong in their world. It was those same talents that others didn’t understand that led them to those that did understand. These artists kept on going until they found their niche.

Don’t give up. Years back, those that I spoke about earlier weren’t trying to be mean. They felt comfortable in their world and they didn’t understand mine. We can only feel accepted if we accept ourselves.

 

Granny: My Kids Have Turned Into My Parent?

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http://inspiration photo: MOTHERS_LOVE.jpg

I finished the next book in my Fuchsia, Minnesota series this week and popped it off to Cozy Cat Press. In my new book, that hopefully will be titled Granny Skewers A Scoundrel, I spent some time thinking about the relationship of parents as they get into their sixties and beyond and their adult children.

Granny’s adult children, Thor, Starshine  and Penelope play a larger part in this book as do Franklin’s children. In Granny Hooks A Crook, Book one of he Fuchsia, Minnesota Series, Granny is forever in danger of her children sending her to an assisted living or the wrinkle farm, a nursing home. Granny’s age is never mentioned on purpose. Is she in her 60’s, 70’s or 80’s? It is anyone’s guess, as the series continues it will be understood. The reason Granny’s age is up in the air is because of the stereotype we put on older people.

Granny does some unbelievable stuff. Elderly people aren’t supposed to act that way. Would we think differently if the character was in their 20’s or 30’s? We would probably put their strange behavior down to a night of drinking or other weird drugs or their youth.

As I was writing I was thinking about my relationship with my adult children. When my children were young, and still today, I worried about them. They are now in their 30’s and 40’s and I still worry about them but I am not used to them worrying about me. The tide has turned. They have become me. I tried to help my mother when I thought she was at the age she needed help, probably earlier than she did. Now it is our turn for our kids occasionally to try and parent us.

On a recent Minnesota Blizzard night, us old people decided to journey out with the blizzard roaring to spend time with friends. Our children when informed of this journey but at first didn’t believe we were going out and then made sure they heard from us to make sure we got there. How many times have they gave me a hard time when they were younger about calling? It felt kind of daring at our age to do something that we would have done in our youth. It was nothing in those days to bundle up, get in the vehicle, brave the blizzard and spend some time with friends while the blizzard roared outside the window? I have to admit it was exhilarating. I wondered why we didn’t do it more often but then I remembered, we are old, and it isn’t something that we normally do because we might get hurt.

Granny’s kids have a concern that she is going to fall in her flip flops, get lost with her car and is not eating right. My kids, now that they are adults bring food to make sure we are eating right, especially when we are sick. When our finances have been low they have offered money although we didn’t take it. When we balked at going to the doctor they came and took us even though we might protest going to the doctor. They have become us.

Granny does many things to outsmart her kids which doesn’t help her cause any. She likes her independence. My mother was independent and I didn’t understand it and perhaps that is why I make Granny the way she is in my book. It is a way, if my mother up above is watching, for her to know that I am sorry I didn’t understand her independence. I had bought into the stereotype that older people must act a certain way and my mom didn’t fit in. to those guidelines.

I do have to say that I think I learned that stereotype from my Grandmothers and the fact my parents took care of their parents. It was what you did in the 50’s and 60’s. Older people were not as tuned in to health and exercise as they are today. I didn’t know anyone like Granny until I my mother who broke my ideas of what old is. And then, I didn’t appreciate it because I didn’t know how to cope with it.

I expect more and more, my children will want to help me out of love and I will let them. Granny loves Thor, Starshine and Penelope and she would not do anything to hurt them. They would not do anything to hurt her and in the coming books of the series Granny’s children will have a new idea of what aging is. Granny’s children will continue their journey with Granny and learn many things about what it is to age, from the fact, older people can fall in love, dance, and even crawl on their garage roof if they are in good condition. The stubbornness keeps them going and keeps them living, loving and laughing.

My kids want to take care of me. We have switched roles but they also have become my friend. I know in the future I can depend on them if I do need help. Someday our roles might be reversed. God gives us each other to love, to learn and help each other  through the seasons of our lives.

I leave you with a Grannyism, she has instructed her children that if she ever tells them this, they should believe her; “It’s my life, but I forgot where I put it. Help me out and I won’t pout. Don’t remember where it’s gone. Is it on Mavis front lawn?”