I am an opinionated person. I try to be fair but at times I express my opinion loudly. It gets me into trouble some of the time. People don’t always appreciate my opinion.

Though I am opinionated I do believe in another person’s right to express their opinion even if it does not agree with mine. I like to have discussions with people who do not share my opinion on a subject. Occasionally my opinion is changed by what the other person has to say. It depends on who I am having this discussion with as to how heated it gets. If it is someone I do not know very well I try to keep my tone at a quiet level. Those of you who know me know I am not a quiet person.

Recently I was having a discussion with a friend in our church basement. It got a little loud. The next day someone said to me, “I noticed you were having a very lively discussion over in the corner.” This person had the impression that we were possibly arguing. We were disagreeing in a very friendly loud way.

The person I was having this discussion with is a very old friend. We are both very passionate about what we believe in and stand our ground for that which we are passionate about. What I love about this friend is that through our loud honest discussions we come out of the discussion smiling and being better friends than before. In our earlier years we shared a church position. We would have a meeting with the pastor and we would get into one of our lively discussions. We would then come to a resolution of our problem but the pastor would be very edgy wondering how all this disagreeing would end. He was always amazed that we came to a mutual decision or agreed to disagree and still stay friends.

I love our friendship. Its honesty and acceptance of each other’s quirky ways makes life very interesting. We aren’t always able to spend time together but when we are back together it as if we have never been apart. Her energy feeds me.

In my family we have a hard time having discussions especially about politics, as we have one son with different viewpoints than ours. The problem isn’t with us disagreeing or our discussions, the problem is with another adult family member that gets upset about the loudness of the disagreement. This person is worried that these lively discussions will cause a rift in our family. I have explained it means that we are passionate about the subject and occasionally the subject gets lively but we never end up separating ourselves from each other.

I remember many years ago the loud discussions between my husband and his brothers at football season. One brother was a Kansas City Chiefs fan, being from Kansas City, and my husband and his other brother were Vikings fans. The bets would fly, the women would be afraid the afternoon or evening was going to end up in a whopping fight. It never did. This was their way of expressing their passion over their football favorites. I see that now.

It’s risky giving your opinion. We aren’t always tactful when we give our opinion. We risk being hurt.

The alternative to not voicing your opinion if you have a strong, passionate feeling about something is akin to stuffing a sack full of stuff. You keep stuffing that sack until it will hold no more and then it will break open and erupt and spill all of the stuff on the floor. The same happens when we stuff what we feel; it erupts at the wrong time.

In an ideal world expressing your opinion would be like my friend and I. We could express our feelings passionately and respectfully and not be ridiculed because of it. We might change some minds and we might not. We felt good because we tried and we felt good because our opinion while not being agreed with was respected.

There are times when the blows are falling cruelly in a discussion that people curl up like a little mouse in a corner so they are not drawn into the discussion. Think about a startling revelation we might miss about a subject because the little mouse in the corner might have the wisest comments to contribute to our discussion had not our nasty rebukes scared him away.

Of course my friend might disagree with me. I look forward to having that discussion with her. She and I would make a good radio show. What could be better than a couple of older (not aged) opinionated loud women discussing what age is too old to wear a bikini? Or should your neighbors get upset if you paint your house purple? Those would be two subjects we would loudly disagree on. Anyone looking for two older, fabulous older, women talk show hosts?

Julie Seedorf – Something About Nothing Column

Column: Something About Nothing

I am so sad. Well, I am not that sad but I am sad. I am sad about the way our shopping habits are affecting the stores I love to visit.

I haven’t done a lot of shopping this past year in brick and mortar stores. Part of the reason was illness, part of the reason was laziness and part of the reason around the holidays was avoidance of crowds.

It was easy during cold weather to do my shopping with the click of a mouse. I didn’t have to battle the cold, the crowds or the heat this summer. All I had to do was to click my mouse and I could shop in my PJs.

I had a light-bulb moment while visiting a shopping mall this week. My grandkids had stayed with me and reluctantly we had to return them to their parents. Our meeting place was the River Hills Mall in Mankato. I have spent a few minutes in the mall a couple of months ago but it was to attend a movie and I didn’t pay much attention to the stores.

My granddaughter’s favorite pastime is shopping. She gets the fact at 9 years old that women like to shop. We strolled the mall. Maybe we were shopping at the wrong season. Our first stop was Bath and Body Works. I remember being in a wheelchair during one of my broken bone days and not being able to shop Bath and Body Works because it was so full of goodies. This time it would have been an easy trip in a wheel chair which is good for the handicapped.  It struck me that they do not seem to be carrying as much merchandise.

We strolled the mall a little further and there were stores closing. To be fair there were some stores opening, but I wondered how long they would last. As we browsed in the stores many of them seemed to me to have less merchandise than they did a year or so again. Their aisles seemed wider and less cluttered.

We of course had to visit my favorite store of Barnes and Noble and touch and smell the books. Their aisles too were emptier I am sure because of ebooks. I wondered if some day I would visit malls and the book stores would be entirely gone.

We made our way to the food court to meet the parents. I was excited about the many choices of food they used to have. The choices of food have narrowed. There was no Orange Julius, no Kentucky Fried Chicken. The food court had turned into half a food court.

This was my light-bulb moment. I contribute to the demise of malls and brick and mortar stores. I contribute because I let my mouse do the walking instead of my feet. I can blame the government for the jobless rate. However I feel somewhere in my mind that I too have contributed to the loss of jobs because of the way I shop. The jobs in malls and brick and mortar stores support many people. These jobs also help college and high school students earn some money to support their needs. These jobs are dying.

We are making a push to buy American-made, and I support that but we also need to make a push to support our local and area stores before they disappear and the only way we can get an item in on the Internet. When we do that, we not only lose our stores we lose a means of communicating and socializing that is important to keep us from being hermits.

We can meet and greet and communicate via computer and phone but face-to-face interaction can’t be replaced.

I would like to say that I am going to do all my shopping via the walking method rather than the mouse method, but I would be lying. I like to shop, but in my paring down phase I haven’t done much of it. I suspect other people too are cutting back.

We women used to shop till we dropped. There were a lot of wise cracks made about this subject. Woman got together with other friends and shopped. We had fun, we laughed and it was a social event. Today’s women have stopped socializing through shopping. Many have stopped spending time with friends because they have no time. It is good for the soul to take time to spend with friends.

Maybe it is up to the women to save the economy. We need to ignore the wise cracks and get back to our slogan “Shop till you drop.” Make it a social event. Women are stressed so they have stopped shopping. It is time to take back the shopping. If you like to shop it will help you de-stress. If aren’t a shopper, help out a friend that does. Watch their kids, take over a task and let them shop for you. Save the economy. Men, if you like to shop you can join us in our “Shop Till you drop;” we won’t hit you with any wise cracks.

Just thinking about a rally to shop to save our brick and mortar stores makes me less sad. When women set their minds to something they accomplish great things. You go girls!

“Shopping is a woman thing. It’s a contact sport like football. Women enjoy the scrimmage, the noisy crowds, the danger of being trampled to death and the ecstasy of the purchase.” — Erma Bombeck

by Julie Seedorf © August 2012

Column: Julie Seedorf, Something About Nothing

I have been given a hard task this week. Someone challenged me to write about the 10 favorite places I have visited. It was a hard assignment. I didn’t realize it but I tend to not have favorite places. Or at least I didn’t pay attention to places as being my favorite.

I put my thinking cap on, as much as this blonde can think, and my thoughts kept going to one of my favorite books, “Annie Freeman’s Fabulous Traveling Funeral” by Kris Radish. After Annie dies she sends her ashes to her friends in a red shoe. They don’t know each other but they are to gather for a journey to distribute her ashes in her favorite places. I always liked that idea. If I left those instructions for my family, where would my favorite places be? I didn’t know what direction I would send them.

I am not a world traveler. I haven’t been to Europe or South America. I have made it to Canada. Some might say that I have missed out if I haven’t traveled abroad. I don’t feel that way. Actually I am not a big traveler. I am perfectly content to vacation at home with a good book and no phones. My family did travel when I was a child and a teenager. I continued to travel as a young adult, and once I was married we took vacations as a family. I have been in 32 states.

I grew up in a time where second and third cousins were valued family. Families visited families including distant cousins. We had family in many states. By the time I was 19, I had visited southern California six times, New York five times and hit the other states in between. As a kid I loved southern California. What more can be said about movie stars, beaches, amusement parks and warm weather. I was very into city life. My younger years are also the time that I experienced most of the other states.

As I made my list I realized that although once I was into city life most of my favorite places centered around serene settings. Here is my list starting at 10 ending with my favorite place.

10. Beatles Concert at Met Stadium – It was a long time ago but memories of a teenager are awesome.

9. Pikes Peak — It took my breath away literally. Have you tried to breathe at this height?

8. Universal parking lot at midnight — Dodging coyotes to get to our vehicle was fun.

7. Grandma Young’s grove at the farm — Playing cowboys and Indians with my cousins and spear fishing carp in the creek which we pronounced as crick. There was something about standing in mud in the creek and the cow pies in the grove that made favorite memories.

6. Uncle’s home in the mountains of northern California — At the time I was bored but now I remember looking across the peaceful valley and thinking it was a piece of heaven.

5. Door County Wisconsin — Peaceful setting, lazy days and of course Door County Coffee.

4. Superior Shores at Two Harbors — Waves lapping against the shore, bonfires on the beach and reading by the fireplace. A perfect setting for pretending you are in a Richard Gere lost love movie.

3. Camping by the Animas River in Colorado — Pouring rain for three days, campfires and beautiful scenery always made me feel like I was at home in Colorado.

2. Los Angeles — I love the smell of the hot pavement, the squishy sand of the beach and lapping waves of the ocean. I loved the excitement of Hollywood and the theme parks. The smell of the ocean was so cleansing after smelling the smog.

1. Anywhere my children and grandchildren are — The words children and grandchildren say it all.

That is my list. I think I have yet to find the journey I want to send my family and friends on with my ashes that are placed in my favorite coffee cup.

My list isn’t too exciting. There are places I love to visit. I don’t get too excited about places. I get more excited about people. I suspect all of these places are among my favorites not because of where they are or what they are but because of whom I experienced these places with.

“A journey is best measured in friends, rather than miles.” — Tim Cahill