Column: Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf

Church pews have been on my mind this week. The reason I have been contemplating the use of church pews is because I have been watching various church services on the Internet, including my church.

I decided to find out when church pews originated. Church pews were nonexistent in medieval times. At that time church services were held standing and the most important feature of the churches was their dome at the top.

It appears church pews came into popularity in the 1600s to the mid-1800s. During that time everything became about social structure. Pews became a feature in a church for just that reason. Church-goers were seated in the pews at worship according to social rank. The highest-ranking pews were close to the pulpit with the lowest being the furthest away.

According to articles that I read, this structure changed between 1840 and 1930. The class structure no longer was a factor.

My take on this is that pews add structure to a church service.

I myself don’t like sitting in pews. They are hard, and the back is straight. I am short so with a cushion my feet don’t touch the floor. I am always fidgeting because of the structure of the pew. Maybe that causes me to pay more attention to the service and that is a good thing.

What I noticed in watching the different services is the emptiness at the front of some of the churches. It is the age old question: Why don’t people sit in the front of the church?

I don’t sit in the front of the church. If I sat in the front row I would feel awfully silly if I was standing and everyone else was sitting and I didn’t know it. I would have to always keep looking over my shoulder wondering if I was doing the right thing. Do you suppose other people feel the same way?

Maybe it has something to do with having to walk to the front of the church and everyone is watching you while you find your place in the pew. That can’t be the reason because it doesn’t matter. Many church services are broadcast on cable TV so people see you no matter where you are sitting in the church.

I never liked sitting in the front of the classroom either. I was always afraid the teacher was going to call on me and I wouldn’t know the answer. Or it could have been I didn’t want the teacher to see me passing notes or whispering to my neighbor. Could that be the same reason that people don’t sit in front in church? Perhaps they are afraid the pastor is going to call on them during the sermon and they are not going to know the answer. Maybe we want to whisper to our neighbor during the sermon and we don’t want the pastor to see.

I wonder what would happen if we took the front pews out of church and replaced them with comfortable couches and chairs. Would people flock to the front to get a seat in the comfortable chairs?  That would be an experiment I would love to see the outcome of.

Somewhere in my investigation of pews I found that in the first years of churches and before pews people met in homes and church was more community and family. It was discussion, teaching scripture, praying with one another and sharing a meal. When the church moved into buildings the structure changed so the focus was on facing the same direction and listening to the pulpit.

When pews were first established people also could rent a pew or buy a pew for their spot in church. That doesn’t happen these days unless a pew space is put up on a church auction for a fundraiser and you buy the privileged spot where you want to sit each Sunday. However many people have their spots picked out and most people know where not to sit because you might be stealing someone’s spot.

The important thing about finding a church is not the church pews, it is finding somewhere to worship that you feel comfortable. I don’t mean comfortable chairs I am talking about a comfortable church where you feel at home. A place where you are being spiritually fed and a place where you feel you are at home with family.

As for me: I am just wondering why the front church pews are empty?

Note: You can read more columns at http://thealbertleatribune.com. If you enjoy my column you might want to read my other blogs.  My other blogs include http://www.justalittlefluff.com and http://www.thankfuljoy.com

Column: Something About Nothing

I met up with an old friend recently. It wasn’t a planned visit; it was a chance meeting. I had not seen this classmate of mine in 20 years. We had a great time catching up.

That happens to me quite a bit. You see the place I am able to catch up with family and friends that I have not seen in years is the funeral home. This one visit where I had a chance meeting with my friend was the third funeral home visit I had attended within two weeks.

On the way out of the funeral home we met up with more relatives that we absolutely enjoy, but we never see. It was a good catch up conversation.

I pondered the events later on in the evening, and it made me sad that the only time we take time to reconnect with people is when someone has died. Not only do we reconnect with old friends at funeral visitations, sometimes we haven’t seen the person who has died in months or years. We have the time to attend their funeral, but we didn’t have the time to visit them when they are alive.

At least that is what seems to happen in my life. Not only that, but when we attend a funeral we celebrate someone’s life. We share stories and say wonderful things about the person who has died. I have always wondered why we don’t take the time to celebrate someone’s life while they are still alive.

I have felt that birthdays are a good day to celebrate someone’s life, but do we do that? Some people do throw big parties for a birthday. That is the way it should be, rather than waiting until someone is dead to celebrate their life. People need to know how much they have meant to us. People need to know how they have changed our lives. People need to know how much we love and care for them while they are alive.

Many people don’t want to celebrate their birthdays. It is just another day in their lives. They don’t want to be reminded of how old they are getting. Would they change their mind if their birthday was a day of celebration? Maybe they don’t like birthdays because it is hard to not be remembered on your birthday.

Families do not always take the time to remember each others birthday either. Remember celebrating a birthday doesn’t have to mean elaborate presents.  A birthday is a day to make someone feel special on their special day.

This past year I have met some of the same people numerous times at the funerals I have attended. The standing joke is, “We have to quit meeting like this.” We do have to quit meeting like that. In our busyness we take time for many things that are unimportant and don’t leave time for those events or meetings that will uplift us and replenish and enhance our lives.

I wish I could tell you that because I realize this I will change the way I conduct my life. I wish I could tell you that I will remember this and make sure I take the time for those important people that are from my past and the future. I know that it might be what I plan to do, but when I get busy again I will forget and continue on. I will meet people at funerals and continue to say, “We have to quit meeting like this.” It seems to be human nature.

People have bucket lists. I don’t have a bucket list yet of places to go and things to do. But I have started a list of those people that I want to take the time to visit or at least be in contact with by mail or on Facebook. I have accomplished some of that this year.

I have met with cousins and old friends that I haven’t seen for a long time. I hope to keep up those contacts. My list is long so hopefully in the year and years to come I can connect so that I don’t always have to say “We have to quit meeting like this.”

Perhaps those connections are only for an hour but during that hour and during that connection my friends and family can feel how much I care for them.

My advice to you is to don’t do as I do, do as I say. If you possibly can find the time to celebrate someone’s life while they are alive, do it. Help someone you care about feel loved.

Oprah has a quote. Her quote is, “The more you praise and celebrate your life, the more there is in life to celebrate.” I would like to change the quote to say, “The more you praise and celebrate someone else’s life, the more there is in life to celebrate.”

The first day of school for my grandchildren brought back many memories of my first days of school. It also brought back memories of the days I sent my children off and anxiously waited for them to come home and tell me about their first day of school.

My grandchildren came home from their first day of school and declared that they loved their teachers. My one grandson who is in first grade declared: “I have the nicest teacher ever.” That said a lot coming from the boy who wasn’t exactly in love with kindergarten.

I thought back to my school days. The years and days of school I loved the best were the years I had a teacher I liked and who inspired all of us.

I started in kindergarten with Mrs. Lewis. She made everyone feel like they were the most important child in the classroom. She always had time for each and every one of us. In fact, even though she retired and lived in another community she kept in touch all my school years and was present at my high school graduation.

My fourth grade teacher, Mrs. Weir, also had an impact on my life. I must have had an impact on her life, too, good or bad I am not sure. I happened to be in a McDonald’s 40 years later and recognized Mrs. Weir. I went over to say hello thinking she would not know who I was. She looked surprised to see me, called me by my name and we reminisced. She was exactly as I remembered her, a very gracious lady.

My eighth-grade teacher was Sister Mary Donald. It was one of our best years of school because of Sister Mary Donald. We learned so many things, and we gave her many trials. I could tell you a few stories. My classmates would remember and I don’t want to tell on them. Yet, she made learning fun and treated us with respect. Twenty-five years later when a classmate and I visited with her, she told us something we didn’t know. She remembered us, called us by name right away and told us she prayed for us every single day. That was a very humbling experience knowing there was someone from our past praying for us. Of course, she could have been praying for us because of all the lively experiences she had with all of us. She probably thought our class needed prayer especially if we had continued our escapades.

I was one of those kids who if I liked a subject I got A’s and if I didn’t like a subject, well we won’t discuss the grade. Looking back it wasn’t so much the subject as the teacher who helped me achieve those grades. If teachers made a class interesting, it was easier to learn.

We often talk about the fact that if parents give their children a good foundation they will grow up to be happy, well adjusted adults. I do feel teachers contribute to that. During the school year our teachers spend more time with our children then we do.

School and society have changed a great deal since I and my children have attended school. Teachers have many more issues to deal with in a classroom. I remember no homeless children while I was going to school or while my children were in school. Teachers didn’t have to worry whether kids had food or mittens for winter. Teachers also didn’t have to put up with bad language and disrespect in the classroom or from parents. Teachers were able to teach.

I was always sad to end the summer and my time with my kids. I never looked forward to school starting because I loved spending the summer with my kids. I knew when they came home on that first day of school if I heard the words that my grandson spoke, “I love my teacher,” that it was going to be a good year.

If you are a teacher I thank you for choosing the career that you have. You make a difference in a child’s life. You may have the impact to help a child get through a bad day. You may make the difference as to whether a child graduates high school and attends college. Some adults may remember the impact that you as a teacher had on their life 50 years from now. It takes a long time and a long memory to grow a child.