Category Archives: Something About Nothing Column

What is Written on That Bathroom Door?

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Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf – published April 21, 2014 Albert Lea TribuneToilet Master

What happens when you take a country granny and put her in the middle of a big city? I don’t know about other grannies, but I know this granny had many laughs on a recent weekend visit to the Twin Cities.

I mention occasionally that those of us older folks who live in rural communities need to look for ways to expand our world. I feel if we don’t take the time to look beyond what we are comfortable with and familiar with, we might miss out on wonderful experiences.

However, I never thought of the tiny way the world is changing as being in the definition of those experiences. I feel I must highlight some of the changes that are taking place in larger communities. If we don’t take the time to learn those changes, we older folks might not be able to navigate society easily. They always say changes come to bigger communities before they appear in the rural area.

One of the things I have noticed happening even in some of our smaller communities, are changes taking place in the bathrooms of retail stores, gas stations, restaurants and schools. I would imagine the bathrooms in the new school that will be opening in the fall of 2014 in my community might have some of these features.

Many of us are used to flushing toilets. We push the lever, the toilet flushes. Imagine how scary it must be for some when the toilet ghost appears and flushes the toilet automatically as they are standing up, scaring them so much that the cellphone that people are always holding, even in the bathroom,  drops out of their hand, falls into the toilet and follows the toilet ghost down the drain. Make sure when you visit the big city and use the restroom always check to see if there is a lever or an eye. Secure your cellphone tightly.

Another confusing place for this old grandma is finding how to dry your hands after washing them. It takes a clever eye to decide if you should swipe, roll, pull or tap the paper dispenser. It is fun to watch the number of people who have this problem. It would make a great “Funniest Home Video” and definitely it would be worth the $10,000 prize.

While visiting the Cities I attended a dance competition in a city high school. Another Grandma and I visited the restroom at the same time. We were the same age, and we couldn’t help but reminisce about our high school days as we saw the ad on the back of a door in the high school bathroom.

When we were in school, teachers weren’t allowed to talk about sex; parents didn’t talk about sex. Sex was a subject only high-schoolers talked about to each other, since parents and teachers didn’t seem to know much about it.

It was shocking for us oldies to find an ad giving five tips to avoid STDs. If you other older folks don’t know what that is, look it up. The high school set evidently knows. It used to be an abbreviation for standard in the olden days. Five tips to be standard? We have come a long way in society or not.

My next dilemma happened at a restaurant. They had a new pop machine. Usually you put your cup under the right flavor of drink and push your cup in on the lever and your drink is dispensed.

This time there were icons such as you have on your tablet computer. I looked at it and didn’t see any icon for water. I asked my granddaughter and with a swipe of her hand she moved to the next menu and the water icon was there. So if you are looking for a drink, remember you might have to swipe instead of push.

My daughter-in-law had to go through the drive-thru of her bank. I am used to a drive through with one lane. There were six lanes at the drive-thru. I couldn’t see anywhere that was enclosed to hold a cashier that could push out the drawer.

We pulled up next to a small screen with a tube that went into the sky. It reminded me of “The Jetsons” cartoon. The money went in, someone talked, it flew up the shoot, flew back down the shoot and had a grape sucker in the tube. I thought that was a great exchange. They say there is a sucker born every minute.

The real reason I was in the Cities was for a grandmother/mother/daughter tea. It is always a fun time.

I donned my extra conservative dress, my only dress that fit, I might add.  Every year I am reminded there is a difference between how big-city grannies dress and rural grannies dress.

The big-city grannies had spiky high heels, and, yes, they were my age, short skirts, some tight-fitting skirts, some of the colors were flamboyant and most were today’s style. Many had long, flowing hair cut in a smart style, and they looked pretty darn good for someone who was my age. I might add that I love the way big-city grannies dress.

I always expect to experience something new when I go on a fun adventure to the Cities. I never thought the things that would make me smile would be toilets and how they flush, towel holders that need a quick eye to be able to wipe your hands, getting a drink becoming a learning experience, laughing because “The Jetsons” has come true and admiring the different fashions that are worn in different settings and communities.

I learned something from every experience. It might have been small but imagine what is out there for us, if we take the time to open our eyes and look beyond our back yard. It might be a world of wonder and joy.

On The Road To Iowa!

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Something About Nothing – Column for Albert Lea Tribune, March 17, 2014

On the road again. Just can’t wait to get on the road again. iowa photo: Iowa Iowa.png

Those words from the Willie Nelson song rumbled through my head as we prepared for a trip to Iowa for a weekend of fun with our son and his children. We had not been across the border, down south, well, a little down south, since the beginning of October. Every time we prepared to get on the road again, we had a snowstorm.

I want to share a few thoughts with you about our visit traveling across the Minnesota border to outside of Des Moines. I always find experiences when I travel that direction or at least something that makes me laugh and wonder.

I gave thanks when I stepped out of my car and I could remove my winter jacket and walk around a house on the dormant grass.

I learned that I need to brush up on my Xbox skills so my grandson doesn’t keep beating me in “Madden NFL” and some other crafty game. Of course, it would have helped had he actually explained what I was supposed to be doing and what the buttons meant on the controller.

The first game we played, which I can’t remember the name, his character blasted me right at the beginning, time and time again, and, yes, I quit in protest of not knowing how to play. My goal, I will learn and conquer and surprise him in the future.

I reinforced my opinion of some drivers on the interstate. Some drivers really are idiots.

I know I must remember the correct name of Orange Leaf frozen yogurt. My grandkids think it’s funny because I always call it Orange Peel. The yogurt tastes the same no matter whether you call the place Orange Leaf or Orange Peel. It is yummy.

It is possible when you wake up in the morning and are in a new community, and you realize you can’t stand your hair one more day, that you can walk into a salon and find a stylist that cuts and styles your hair exactly as you wanted it. When panic mode hits and your normal stylist is hundreds of miles away, there is someone who can save you.

Attending the “Mr. Peabody & Sherman” movie I noticed the adult men were laughing louder at some of the nuances in the movie than the children. I wondered how many of those subtle comments my young grandchildren would remember and ask later on what they meant. Why do movies for kids now have to have suggestive comments in them for adults?

It is possible to meet new friends in strange places. Another grandmother and I bonded at our grandchildren’s gymnastic practice over exercise. We decided the frog hop and the “pull the pad by your toes as you crawl across the floor” — we didn’t know the real name for the exercise — would be perfect for us to try at home. We agreed we wouldn’t let anyone else watch us. We decided to skip the upside-down-against-the-wall exercise as we felt we are a little balance challenged and our heads are dizzy enough without turning upside down. The strange thing about talking to this new friend was that it felt as if we had known each other a long time. I hope we meet up again.

I came away from a conversation about Sunday school with my grandchildren wondering why we don’t take kids’ advice when they have suggestions for making learning in Sunday school more interesting. They have some good ideas.

I concluded that unless we can figure out a way to turn off the electronics it is going to be a hard sell to turn children into readers in this gadget world of ours. Thank goodness for teachers who assigns their class reading assignments where the kids have to read at least 20 minutes every evening. Maybe in that short space of time something will spark a love for reading so they want to put aside their gadgets and get lost in the words and pages of books.

I learned on this trip that my 11-year-old granddaughter is a good cook. Not only can she cook, she makes it look like the enticing food on the cooking shows. My mouth still is watering from her scrumptious French toast and strawberries and cream.  She, unlike me, has the patience to stand and nurture what is cooking instead of walking away and ignoring it until she thinks it is done. She taught me that if she can be patient while cooking, I can too.

As we traveled the road back to Minnesota in the nighttime hours, I became aware of the number of people who have died on the freeway this year in the state of Iowa. Signs over the freeway in the darkness at various points in the road flashed those numbers and warned us to drive safely.

As we came back to Minnesota that night I looked at the beautiful stars in the sky and the brightness of the landscape at night because of the snow and marveled at the differences a few hours can make in our lives.

I thought back to my experiences during the weekend and was filled with wonder at how many experiences small and large that we travel through in our lifetime. The tiny pieces of moments and experiences weave together to change something about us, however small. We may not notice, but we are changed by the moments not just the hours and days.

“Miracles come in moments. Be ready and willing.” — Wayne Dyer

I’m Not Too Old For A Pillow Pet!

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0310_peaceful_bear_Column: Something About Nothing, by Julie Seedorf  Published in the Albert Lea Tribune and The Courier Sentinel week of March 8, 2014

I have a Pillow Pet. I asked for a Pillow Pet for Christmas. The name of my Pillow Pet is Peaceful Bear. Peaceful Bear is a rainbow of colors with a peace symbol on his paw. He was a gift from my Granddaughter and Grandson.

For those of you that don’t know what a Pillow Pet is I will explain.  Pillow Pets were invented by the Telfer family. The children of the Telfer family would take their stuffed animals to bed and try to squish them up and use them as a Pillow, but they were too hard. So the Telfer family invented their Pillow Pet which has Velcro straps that bundle the stuffed animal up like a Pillow so you can use it to sleep. The first Pillow Pet was Snuggly Puppy. From the first years of Pillow Pets the product line has expanded to Glow Pets, Dream Lite and other items along the same venue.

Pillow Pets were made for children. I am possibly in my second childhood. I have been buying Pillow Pets for my grandchildren since their invention. I do want to say I have found that the knock off brands can’t compare to the real thing. I didn’t test the Pillow Pets when I bought them. I thought they were adorably cute. They come in many different varieties with names and cuteness of different animals.

I happened to be staying at my son’s and forgot my pillow. I picked up the Viking Pillow Pet and used it for my night’s stay. I didn’t want to give it back. It was soft and cuddly and I slept great. It scrunched up perfectly for my head. I wallowed in its softness. I wanted to take it home. I tried to talk my granddaughter out of this pillow, after all they have more. It didn’t work.

I came back home to my regular pillows. I like feather pillows but a couple of years ago they decided they didn’t like me and they added to my discomfort with my nose at night. I had to switch to foam pillows but I never could find one that let me sleep like a baby. I tried all sorts of brands. I finally settled on a Sleep Number pillow that I do like because it has air inside. I can adjust it to be harder or softer. I must admit I haven’t tried the My Pillow. That was going to be my next step to a better night’s sleep.

Every time I visited my son, daughter-in-law and grandchildren I asked for the Pillow Pet. Perhaps it also because I have never gotten over my love of stuffed animals. I have given most of my stuffed pals away over the years but there are some that forever will live in my heart and my home, such as my first teddy bear. He is now at least sixty years old but I can’t call him cuddly because bears in the olden days were cute but kind of hard.

I have taken quite a ribbing because of my love for the stuffed creatures over time. Apparently as an older adult, my love for these cute stuffed creatures is supposed to go away. It didn’t happen in my case.

Christmas came along and I had forgotten my request when asked what I wanted for Christmas. Most people in my family hadn’t taken me seriously anyway. My grandchildren did. I was so excited when I took Peaceful Bear out of the box. Peaceful Bear has given me a good night’s sleep. Not only that, when I look at peaceful bear he makes me feel better. When I am sad or tired I usually snuggle a live cat but now I can also hug Peaceful Bear. His colors brighten my mood.

If you are an adult reading this, I give you permission to huggle and snuggle with a soft and cuddly stuffed creature, although my permission doesn’t mean a thing. I don’t have authority to give permission on huggling and snuggling with a stuffed animal friend.  I can advise you to find one that speaks to your heart. Feel it’s softness as you take a nap, snuggle in for a good read or a good television show or use the Velcro strap and let it adorn your bed or your couch. It might even make a good companion for your cat or dog to snuggle on. Like Mikey from the old Life cereal commercials, try it, you might like it.

Peaceful Bear makes me feel peaceful. Mother Teresa said that peace begins with a smile. Peaceful Bear also makes me smile and how can anyone go wrong with that?