I know that all good things must come to an end. At least that is what the saying tells me. I find it hard to accept the end when there are so many endings at one time.

A marriage fails and you lose someone who you loved like a daughter. A friend moves and the day-to-day conversation that you have face to face ends, to be replaced by a long distance friendship. The friendship remains but you know it will never be the same again. A job is ending after fourteen years. Endings, one ending after another in a very short time.

And then we have Oprah. Today is the last day of her show. I think I have watched Oprah for as long as she has been on the air. Oprah’s show is one of the anchors in my topsy-turvy life. I  glean wisdom and encouragement from Oprah and know that tomorrow will be better.

When my life was full of endings or the roller coaster ride was too much, I would turn on my television at the end of the day and As The World Turns and Guiding Light would take me out of my reality into the fantasy of their world. Oprah would bring me back into my world and give me hope that with the endings there would be new beginnings.

Guiding Light and As the World Turns ended too. Proctor and Gamble did not realize that the stability of watching those programs at the end of each day for as long as they were on my TV kept the endings of life from feeling as devastating as they were. They were not just stories, they were lifelines for many people trying to relax and cope with the reality of their lives. The imaginary world of soaps let us escape for a little while.

Now in the midst of all the other endings in my life Oprah is saying good-bye too. Every clip that is shown on her show I can remember. I  too been inspired by Oprah. As my heart is heavy from other endings in my life, Oprah’s show ending while making my heart heavy,  also lifts me up and inspires me to reach out to tomorrow and touch the new beginnings of my life.

Thank you Oprah.

Today I have been waiting. It seems I am always waiting for something. Every two weeks I wait for my paycheck. I wait for my children to call.I wait for the alarm clock to go off. I wait and wait and wait.

Today I was on pins and needles waiting for news of my friend’s test results. My friend has cancer. She has had cancer for almost 15 years and she has met the challenge of cancer with dignity, courage, cheerfulness and patience. I cannot imagine what she goes through each time she waits for test results.

I knew the time of the test. I waited for news. I prayed. I kept busy, but always my mind was straying to my phone checking to see if I missed the text. I waited and I waited and as I waited I thought of the phrase “No news is good news.” I didn’t think that was it in this case. Hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second my mind raced worrying and waiting. The longer  my phone was silent the more I expected bad news.

Does my friend feel the way Job felt when he was in God‘s waiting room? I turned to a Bible interpretation  that I like the best; The Message. I turned to Psalm 130 verses 5-6

I pray to God—my life a prayer— 
 and wait for what he’ll say and do. 
My life’s on the line before God, my Lord, 
 waiting and watching till morning, 
waiting and watching till morning.

Isn’t that all we can do when we are in the waiting room? Pray and wait for God.

The wait for test results is over. The news shows no change. There is still hope, there is still treatment and my friend will go on facing this disease with courage and grace.

Everyday we wait to see what God has planned for us today. How will we face that wait? I can’t pretend I am this big religious person that knows the answers or knows the Bible well. But I do know that when I place my life in God’s hands the waiting is easier.

It gives me encouragement and joy when I take the time over lunch to open a book by someone who I know.

Mr. Postman delivered to me Rachelle McCalla’s book “Danger on Her Doorstep. I grabbed my sandwich, opened my juice and decided to take a sneak peek. Rachelle’s other books held me captive. I couldn’t put them down.

I was just going to take a peak, read a page and put it away for another time. I couldn’t do it. I started reading and the time started slipping away.

Usually on my noon hour I choke down my lunch, pay some bills and rush back to work. This noon hour I got enthralled in  the life of Maggie Arnold. I will tell you no more. It would spoil your reading fun.

I almost forgot to head back to work. I wanted to keep reading. The book is outstanding and I am inspired that someone I know has such talent.

I started thinking about the reason I write. Am I writing for me? Am I writing to reach out to others? Am I writing for approval of my writing style? Probably all three. Most of all I write because I love to write. Writing is breathing. it doesn’t matter if I am good at it. All that matters is that I release the words deep inside of myself.

I used to keep a diary of my private thoughts but nothing seems private anymore since the advent of blogging. Do we show the world who we are when we write and it is splashed out there for all the world to see? My diary was private. I told my diary things I would tell no other living soul. Although I imagine if my diary exists and someone finds it when I depart this world someone will know. Will I want that diary to be a remembrance of me?

I suspect that the writers that write for the love of writing are saving their soul. I am. But does anyone really know who we are even if it seems we let it all hang out in our words on the pages that we present to the world? Are we who we portray ourselves to be? Or are we like the characters in a book, full of mystery but pretending to let the world know us? Do we know ourselves?

I made it to work and back home again. I am going to put the real world aside and nestle into Danger On Her Doorstep and stand in awe at the gem of creativity glowing inside an author that is a wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend.

What is lurking inside each one of us waiting to be released to the world? Would someone guess by looking at you what you are about or would  the life you are living on the outside hide the surprises that are on the inside? Keep surprising us!

Quote by Ralph Waldo Emerson:

Everybody keeps telling me how surprised they are with what I’ve done. But I’m telling you honestly that it doesn’t surprise me. I knew I could do it.”