The Country Girl Meets The City Girl!

farm girl1Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf published week of February 16 in the Albert Lea Tribune

I once wrote a book for a friend. I called myself the city girl in the story, which of course, was a little far-fetched because I live in a small town in the country. Last week I became a city girl for a week, spending time with my kids and grandchildren. It was somewhat of a retreat because I had the house to myself for the day while the others were at  school and work. I also had time to myself to flit around town whenever the urge for coffee and conversation would drive me out of the house.

I am out of the loop, very far out of the loop. Since making writing my business of choice, I hide away in my home, fast forward through commercials because I don’t watch live television, ignore the news and live in the fantasy of writing.

A look of amazement covers my face when I finally come out of hiding and visit the big city. I am a country bumpkin.

In earlier columns I mention being challenged by faucets on sinks, towel machines and flushing toilets when I am out and about in the big city and visit public restrooms. It hasn’t been long since I visited, perhaps November, but I wasn’t expecting any new challenges in the public restrooms. I did notice I was not the only one restroom challenged, as other women were swiping and waving, trying to get machines to work.

I always hold on to my cellphone tightly when using the bathroom in public restrooms. Those toilets flush the water right out from under you and a falling-out-of-the-pocket cellphone dropped in the water  would flush faster than the average hand could move, but then, who would want to move that hand before the toilet flushed?

This time on my visit to a public restroom in a major department store I was ready to pay attention to the towel machine so I knew if I had to wave or swipe. I was ready for the automatic faucets which might require a dash underneath them to get them going. I encountered my problem before I dashed my hands underneath the faucet. I pumped the soap dispenser. It didn’t work. I looked for a button to push. There was no button. Just for kicks I dashed my hand underneath the soap machine and it dispensed soap. Very clever, now I have to watch out for soap machines too.

This public restroom made drying hands easy and fun. It doesn’t  take a scientist to figure out you put your hands, pointed down, in the machine slots to dry your hands. I loved the hand machine as it felt like a massage on the hands. It doesn’t take much to make me happy.

I remember a time when the thought of the big city scared me because of all the crime.  I was leery on my visits, checking out my surroundings all the time. Since I quit listening to the news that phobia has gone away. At least it did until I took time to watch the news while I visited the big city. The swat team was entering Byerly’s in St. Louis Park, and the hunt continued in Jordon which was not far from where I was. I listened as more dire things were reported. It scared me that the news didn’t scare me.  The types of incidents I was hearing that were happening seem to be the way of life and normal. Nowhere are we safe, and we accept in 2015 this is part of our life.

I find the fact unacceptable and scary that I would accept news of that type as normal.

I have heard of the unfriendliness of people in big cities. I found that not to be true. I had people to chat with wherever I decided to go. I made a new friend over lamenting about weight gain over a rack of clothes. We exchanged numbers and will meet again. Perhaps it is my chatty nature. People from big cities seem to be getting a bad rap for being unfriendly.

Because I had a chance to spend time on a walking track at a large community center that is not available to me in my town, I decided to purchase some cheap walking shoes. I hadn’t planned on doing much walking since it was chilly and I am not a cold weather person, so I didn’t bring my walking shoes this trip. This is where I found I need to pay more attention to commercials.

I grew up in a shoe store. As an adult, I don’t care much about shoes. I don’t shop for shoes very often. Imagine my surprise when I found out that many brands of athletic shoes come with memory foam insoles. I have bad feet and when I tried the new memory sole shoes on I felt as if I was walking on a cloud. Do you suppose if we wore memory foam in our shoes our memory would improve? After all, our skin and feet are very absorbent. Vicks absorbs on the feet and stops a cough; maybe memory foam would do the same? I tried to talk myself into spending the money on the shoes that had memory rather than the cheap ones I had intended to purchase. I had perfectly good shoes at home. I couldn’t justify the purchase and I picked up the $15 rather than the $60 shoes.

The manager and I had a conversation earlier on and he was teasing me about my purchase when I brought it up to the counter. I told him my dilemma and he said, “They make insoles from memory foam and you can move them from shoe to shoe.”

I was shocked. I didn’t know. I don’t buy insoles. I don’t look at insoles and I don’t usually wear extra insoles in my shoes.  Insoles were much cheaper than the $60 shoes. My new $15 walking shoes now have memory and so do I.

I am left with the memory of my week in the Cities. I am left with the realization I need to expand my horizons more so I can keep up with conversations of those younger than I am. I want to be a well-informed older person, not stagnating in my old age. Will I be able to broaden my horizons? Stay tuned.

 

Love Them All, But Differently

Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf published Valentine Week 2015 in The Albert Lea Tribune and The Courier Sentinel

valentineLove is amazing. I imagine it is not surprising for me to make that statement during this Valentine’s week of love. However, this week is an afterthought that coincides with the reason I decided to write about love.

It was an amazing week of relaxation, writing, catching up with old friends and family and meeting new friends. I spent the week in the Cities visiting with my grandchildren. While they were at school and their parents were at work I had the house to myself for quiet time to create.

One evening we treated the kids to dinner at one of their favorite restaurants. Our conversation turned to love. The conversation centered on valentines for school but quickly, with silly children, turned to the subject of love and who their parents loved best.

Erma Bombeck wrote a story titled “I’ve Always Loved You Best Because…” It is a favorite story from one of my favorite authors. The gist of the story is Erma loved all her children best, but in different ways because they have different personalities, and were born at different times in her life. As each child came into this world, Erma was at a different stage of her life. She didn’t love each child more, and she didn’t love each child less; she loved them equally but differently. I cry when I read Erma’s story because it touches a place deep in my heart in the way I feel for my children and grandchildren.

One day I was being silly and wanted to see what kind of reaction I would get from my children when I sent this message in a group message on my phone to all of them: “I always loved you best.” One panicked and didn’t realize it was a group message and immediately texted me back and said, “You can’t say that. That’s not fair to my brother and sister.”

I was happy to get that response because he didn’t want his brother and sister to feel bad. One of my children knew I loved Erma and was familiar with the story. She knew where the sentiment was coming from and what it meant. The other recipient saw that it was a group message and thanked me on behalf of him and his siblings. It was a good experiment, but so true. I love all of them best.

My grandchildren at the table were bantering back and forth. My grandson decided his dad loved him best and his mom loved his sister best. His sister agreed with him. Their mom and I explained that she and their dad, along with their grandmother, loved them both the same, but differently. My grandson piped up, “Grandma we need to split your heart in two but I get the bigger half.”

The word love encompasses a variety of different feelings and emotions such as attraction, compassion, kindness and affection. We have those feelings in different forms and different ways for different people. We love in many different ways. We feel romantic love for a spouse or a mate; we feel friendship love for a friend. Our love for our children is a love that is so huge it is hard to describe. That is what I mean when I say, isn’t love amazing? Isn’t it amazing we can feel so many kinds of love in our hearts? It is overwhelming if you take the time to think about it. We don’t love more or better, just differently, and somehow, we know the difference in the feeling.

However, to be totally unromantic and sensible, we all know the emotion of love comes from the brain not the heart. I wondered why and how the heart became the symbol of love. The heart has been a symbol of love since Greek mythology. I only found theories as to the reason love and the heart became connected.

My sprinkled mind was off and running wondering who came up with the word love. Who came up with the word happy? Who came up with the words that we use day in day out and take for granted in our conversations? I guess that is a column for another day.

During this week of love, show your love in different ways to different people that matter in your life. Let them know, like Erma, you always loved them best. While you are at it show a little love and kindness to a stranger. Love makes the world go round and we certainly don’t want it to stop spinning.

“Love wasn’t put in your heart to stay. Love isn’t love until you give it away.” —Michael W. Smith

 

Did You Hear What I Heard?

Something About Nothing by Julie Seedorf – Published week of February 2, 2015rumour

Do you remember the telephone game? You would whisper something into someone’s ear and they would whisper what they heard to the person next to them. When it reached the end of the line what was whispered was repeated out loud to see how the words had changed and been misunderstood.

Recently I felt I might be in the middle of the telephone game. Actually the rumor, of which the subject was me, was caused by a misunderstanding with technology, namely the phone and texting.

It started with an early morning text I received from a friend in a city 100 miles away. The text said, “Are you OK?” Puzzled I answered, “Yes, why?” The reply was, “No reason, I just heard something.” My reply: “What did you hear?” The next text explained, “I heard you moved to the Cities.”

Thinking nothing of it and laughing about it, I continued on with my day until I received a message on Facebook from another friend. “Are you OK? Just wanted to make sure you were all right.” I was puzzled so I replied, “I am fine but this is the second text I received asking me the same question.” My friend texted me back and explained, “We heard you moved out and moved to the Cities.”

I thought that was interesting. My husband and I had both been spending a great deal of time in the Cities with our kids and enjoying the summer. At this point I laughed and thought about how rumors spread. Everyone that knows me should know I am an open book. If I would have moved to the Cities everyone would have known it. I didn’t make it any secret we were spending time in the Cities, but somehow that changed into my moving out and moving to the Cities.

This is where it gets complicated. Apparently the rumor came from a friend in Alaska who visited my community this summer while I was in the Cities. I checked back through my texts to this person and saw what might have been misconstrued. I would love to move to the Cities someday. I did state that in my texts to this person. I also stated I was spending time in the Cities. And I used the word “I” not “we.” A friend was getting a divorce, and I was spending time with them, too.

I don’t blame my friend from Alaska, and I don’t blame my friends here for the rumor. Thankfully they decided to check on me. I blame the fast pace of our world where we quickly text a message and we quickly read a message and don’t catch the entire wording or meaning. I do that all the time. A text comes in, and I quickly glance at it. I quickly answer and don’t check my walking fingers to see if my cell phone interpreted it right. The same thing happens with technology as did with the telephone game. The message changes the longer our fingers walk over those keys and our eyes bounce over the words.

It was my laugh for the day. I wonder how many things we misconstrue that we overhear or read in the media. We used to have a party line on our phone. For you young things out there, a party line is somewhat like group messaging or group calls. Most of the time we didn’t know anyone was listening. Or they didn’t know we were listening. Back then, if you wanted the good gossip, you turned to your phone when you heard it ring for your neighbor. You then put your hand over the receiver and gently lifted it up so they couldn’t hear that you were on.

Today, everyone knows you’re listening. Today we broadcast truth and rumor and let the chips fall where they may.  It is hard to tell the difference between fact and fiction. There are some pretty outlandish stories out there that are true. There are some boring stories told on your neighbors that are not. How do we differentiate fact from fiction? The Internet is rife with stories true and false, there is a fact-checker website called Snopes that sets us straight if — we are interested in finding out the truth about some of those stories floating around.

I must admit I am not any different than anyone else and my ears perk up when I hear bits and pieces of conversations about someone else. I think that is human nature.

That I know of, no one was hurt by the rumor floating around that I had moved to the Cities. My friends decided to check out the facts. They did the right thing. Had they not and I not become aware of the rumor, maybe there would have been repercussions.

The Internet and news media have made it easy for lives to be ruined by rumors. Right or wrong, great men and women have been brought down, lost jobs and had lives destroyed by unsubstantiated rumors. We have lost teenagers because of rumors. It is time all of us take responsibility and figure out whether the rumor we heard should be shared. Will it help or will it hurt? What will the words sound and feel like at the end of the rumor tree?