Tag Archives: Albert Lea Tribune

Mental Dental Mishap Fear!

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It is no secret I don’t like dentists. I live in fear of their tools the same way the characters in my books fear being caught by the protagonist.

I don’t actually dislike the people who are dentists. I have very good friends who are dentists, and I like them as the person they are but not the career they have. It’s not their fault I fear their tools. It is a deep-seated fear from childhood and the old ways of the dentists back in the ’50s and ’60s.

My fear of dentists began the summer after I finished eighth grade. A fun game of badminton turned into the last time my real two front teeth inhabited my mouth. A little swing of the racket, my coming forward with my racket, and the meeting of my friend’s racket with my mouth as my friend swung at the birdie, sent pieces of my teeth probably flying over the net or somewhere never to be found. I remember my mom’s angst when she saw what happened. I wasn’t too upset until I visited the dentist. What was left of the teeth had to come out, a root canal had to be performed and pegged teeth had to be cemented in my mouth.

We didn’t have the technology we do today, so the first month of that summer, every few days was spent in the dentists office. I had a month of no front teeth. There were no TVs or music to drown out the noise of the drills. And I remember a lot of pain when he was working on my teeth.

Again, the man behind the drill was a very nice man and a caring man, but he wasn’t trained in gentleness technique. And his hands always shook, so occasionally they missed their mark.

My old school friend and I were comparing dentist notes from our childhood. She always wanted to go to my dentist, and I always wanted to go to hers. Must be the grass is always greener on the other side of the street thing. I wanted her dentist because they got cute plaster Disney statues for going to the dentist, and she wanted my dentist because hers sometimes had imbibed too much before working on patients. It was the shaky hands from being older versus the shaky hands from having a few fun beverages.

There was an upside to my accident; before the accident I had spaces between my real two front teeth. My new teeth were great.

Because of all this I have avoided the dentist for years and years. Yes, that many years. Add to the fact I have no dental insurance and it cemented my resolve to stay away from the imaginary torture chambers in my mind.

Over the years I have tried to make it to the dentist. I have made the appointments, and the office has made bets on whether I would make it. In the past weeks I could no longer avoid the dreaded dentist.  I was in a dither. My broken tooth sent me into a panic. Yes, I know, a small thing for most people but remember the torture chamber of my youth.

I remembered the restful feeling I had when accompanying my husband to his dentist this past year. He is a veteran and this dental office had a day when they provided free dental work for veterans. I thought possibly the restful feeling was the fact I was not the one undergoing the work, but I bit the bullet and had my husband make an appointment. They got me in right away.

The office was as I remembered it, peaceful with restful decor and a quiet atmosphere which calmed my nerves. The staff, knowing I was nervous, took time to make sure I was calm and comfortable. I had a TV right in front of me as I sat in the spa-like comfortable chair. This was not the dental office of my childhood.

And then I met the dentist and the dental assistant who were the essence of calm. I had my teeth examined — not as bad as I thought — and the gentleness made me quit shaking. I made the next three appointments. The truth was in the pudding. Would I make it back to actually have the work done? I canceled the first appointment because we had a blizzard, and the dentist was 40 miles away. I made it to the second appointment.

As I sat in the chair and watched “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” on television, the dental hygienist worked on my teeth. I almost fell asleep. I was able to daydream and plot my next book, and I can’t believe I am saying this: It was a relaxing time. I have two more appointments, and again I can’t believe I am saying this, but I actually am looking forward to getting my teeth fixed.

I have always loved new technology, but I haven’t thought about it in the terms of dentists. Technology has come a long way in making the torture chambers of my youth into a better experience for those of us that have dental aversion. My fear made the thought of the experience into a bigger terror than it was. I think I need to ponder that and wonder where it might carryover into the rest of my life.

“One of the greatest discoveries a man makes, one of his great surprises, is to find he can do what he was afraid he couldn’t do.” — Henry Ford

 

Authors and Editors, We Need One Another!

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love my editorsI love writing and when I write my creativity takes me along

with the story and I get lost in it, not caring about comma’s etc. I put comma’s in the wrong places, forget to use quotation marks and forget about correct sentence structure. I check my finished work and try to clean it up, but usually it is a mess. That is where my editors come in.

I want to highlight two people who work magic with my books. One is my publisher and editor plus being an author, Patricia Rockwell. When my manuscript for Cozy Cat Press cropped-ccplogonegative-e1433524649126.jpgis ready I send it in and she crosses the t’s, dots the i’s and makes me look better. She does this for all of her authors at Cozy Cat Press as she is the owner and publisher of the company.

Another person I rely on is D.A. Sarac and The Editing Pen. 1f71c0_74832be138cf469cb3612d72986d5b76I always feel it is good to have more than one set of eyes so I have her edit my independent books I publish under Hermiony Vidalia Books and the books I send to Cozy Cat Press. She has become invaluable to me. In fact, she too makes me look good. My new book The Penderghast Puzzle Protectors was  a mess when it came to comma’s and quotation marks. You would think I would learn but in my excitement and haste I miss many things and I hate editing and Annie Sarac loves editing.

Not only has The Editing Pen been invaluable to me with editing, she has also helped me with my promotions. An author needs to write, edit and promote and it is exhausting and so we ask for help. The Editing Pen offers a wide variety of services and support for authors.

I did try at one time to publish without an editor and it was a big mistake. I have learned my lesson. Every author you read, hopefully has a good editor in their back pocket. I am lucky to have two.

My new book will be featured here on Monday, so stay tuned, sign up to follow this blog  and for my newsletter where you can find the sign-up on julieseedorf.com.

For me this is thank an editor day. I just made it up. Thank you Patricia Rockwell and D. A. Sarac. You are the trick I carry in my back pocket to help my career be successful. And I would guess you would love to edit the post and all my snafu’s.

If you have an editor out there you love, leave a comment. I will choose one lucky winner to receive a surprise. And if you are a reader and don’t have an editor, make a comment anyway. I love to hear from you. And make sure you check back to see if you have won.

It’s Happy Editor’s Friday. Thank an Editor.

Edited by Patricia Rockwell and D. A. Sarac

Edited by Patricia Rockwell and D. A. Sarac

My New Year’s Resolution!

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Taken from my column in the Albert Lea Tribune on December 28, 2015

I always dread my New Year’s column. Every year I state, “I don’t make New Year’s resolutions.” And usually I don’t because I always break them, but this year I am going to make a New Year’s resolution. It may seem as if it is a strange resolution, but events over the past week have finally pushed me to the point where I can’t ignore something that is bothering me any longer. I make the resolution to speak out and not bite my tongue when an incident makes me feel uncomfortable.

You may find it strange a columnist, author and mostly mouthy person doesn’t speak up and out about something, but I never want to offend anyone. When I do, I dither about it for days, and I feel bad I would be the cause of hurting someone or making them feel less then. I know that has not always been the case, I am human, and when I am fearful or feel wronged I have struck out in anger and fear. I try not to behave erratically anymore, so, in many instances, I bite my tongue, keep silent and don’t express the feelings I experience when I feel bullied or offended. This year when I feel those things I will speak out, but not in anger or in fear, but hopefully with tact so we can have a sensible dialogue without tramping on anyone’s rights.

Everywhere we turn we hear the loud cries of those who are offended about something, some very significant real offenses and others minute and silly in the scheme of the world.

I am offended by behaviors I have encountered in my life recently, and I kept quiet because I didn’t want to offend those that offended me. Does that make sense to you? This year I  make the resolution I will never use bad language on social media or tear apart, or attack someone verbally because they have different beliefs than I do, or I will never bully or be crass about another’s political beliefs on my social media or in person. It should come as no surprise that I am uncomfortable with off-color language, after all I write cozy mysteries. Yet,  I have been known in private to occasionally use a bad word or two when I am upset, though I am not at all happy about myself when I do that. And I do express my political beliefs but I hope not at the expense of others beliefs.

Four things happened in one day, pushing me over the edge and triggering my resolution. I have hundreds of social media friends both on my personal page and on my author page. Out of those hundreds of friends I can count on one hand the ones that upset me with foul language and a bullying attitude about politics and acceptance.

The first thing greeting me one morning as I checked social media was a post degrading a certain political party and their views. Along with the comment was a brutal comment targeting refugees, and it included an article about that very subject. It felt like a verbal assault against what I believe. And I felt the disrespect for anyone’s viewpoint that differed from this person. For the first time I hid that particular post for the person.

The second thing  I saw on my Facebook that morning was a post by someone, tagging a relative so they would see the post. The picture and message was crass along with  four letter words blasted across the side of a cup. I have never hid a post by this person but I did it that morning.

The third encounter making me shake my head happened outside a bathroom in a shopping mall. A teenage boy, probably around 16 or 17, was waiting for what looked like to be his girlfriend and her friend. They got their signals crossed. When the girls found him he released a few four letter words. The kicker is the girls didn’t blink an eye at the foul language of the young man.  I am still of the premise that young women deserve respect and do not deserve to be talked to with disrespectful language, but because it is so common these days they accept it as the norm. Does it bother them and they keep it inside, or do they really not care?

The fourth occurrence again happened on social media later that day. One of my Facebook friends posted a sign with the big four letter word content saying that it is their right to use that language and if someone didn’t like it then — well — they said in no uncertain terms what we could do. For the third time that day and the third time in my Facebook time, I hid a post.

Three of these people do not behave this way in their place of work. What makes putting it out there to me any different than the work situation?

Now you might tell me to unfriend these people. I don’t want to, I actually like them and enjoy many of the things they post and I like the conversations I have with them on the street and in public. But I will from now on hide the posts that make me uncomfortable.

It is these people’s right to free speech. But it is my right to say respectfully, “What you are saying bothers me.” Here is what I have to say to the bullying political rhetoric, “You might have some very valid points, but when you post what you do spewing hate, I feel  bashed and disrespected because my viewpoint differs from yours. I turn off what you are saying and what you are protesting. Please present it in a way where I can listen and we can have respectful dialogue. You might win me over to your way of thinking. When I feel bullied and threatened I shut down my brain to any change you might be trying to make.

As far as the language, I respect your right to talk any way you choose, but please respect my feelings on the matter. You can use any language you want to those who don’t care and in places where it is accepted and with people it doesn’t bother. I am not trying to stop you from being you; I just need to speak up and say it bothers me. So let’s respect each other’s space. I have grandchildren and family who read my page, and I don’t want them to question what I teach them.

And for the people in the mall, my message to young women is to ask yourselves what makes you feel valued and and respected and stand up for it.

We all make different resolutions. We all have different lifestyles and beliefs. I respect that, and my resolution is to respect your space too. So please, if you see yourself in this column, don’t cross me off your list of friends, and if you don’t want to be mindful of how I am feeling about your posts, I guess it is OK because I can always hide it. But my resolution is to think twice before I talk to someone or show disrespect in a post. If I break that resolution, you can hide my post, too, or we can have a dialogue respecting each other’s opinions.

 

“In tragedy, it’s hard to find a good resolution, it’s not black and white; it’s a fog of gray.

— Paul Dano