There are days when I can’t find myself. In my new book Something About Nothing, I shared one of my columns that I wrote on a lost day. I would like to share it with you to give you a little preview of the snippets of life, my life and how it might relate to yours, that I share in the book. Here it is. If you like it click on the picture of the book to find it on Amazon.
AM I LOST?
“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” A friend sent me a card a few years ago with those words on the front. The card sits in my office where I can see it every day to give me inspiration.
Did I lose myself? Have you looked for yourself lately? A self-help guru who I listened to recently said to ask yourself these questions: Who are you? Where have you been? Where are you going?
I decided I needed to look for myself and find out if I was lost. How do I start? First, I looked to my childhood friend for answers. She asked me two questions. Do you still play with Barbie dolls? Do we still talk about our dreams with imagination? Of course, I don’t play with Barbie dolls! As far as conversation, we have our husbands, our children, our grandchildren, and our jobs to talk about now. Why would we talk about our dreams?
I called a friend of a little shorter duration. I have only known this friend for twenty-three years. I asked her, “Am I lost?” She asked me two questions: Do you dress like a clown when you entertain nursing home residents? Do we still laugh and dream about our lives after kids? Such silly questions. I have no idea where my clown costume is and we don’t have time to dream. Our work, our children, our grandchildren, and our aches and pains are all the conversation for which we have time. We are old. Dreams?
Next stop was the hubby. Am I lost? He didn’t get this question. I was standing right in front of him, although he did mention something about being more spontaneous many, many years ago before raising children. Who has time for spontaneity? There are bills to pay, children to visit, and then there is just plain tired at the end of the day.
I asked my daughter if I was lost. She asked me one question. “Where is the quilt that you were making for me for my high school graduation seven years ago? (Shh! Remember no one knows that I used to sew!)
Maybe I was lost. Maybe I am still lost. But maybe it is like the card: “Life is about creating yourself.” Who is the me I will create today?