I am a clumsy cook. Most of my friends know that. Today I outdid myself. I decided to make scrambled eggs for lunch.

The first thing I did was venture onto my porch and snip away at the herbs that I planted in the pots this spring. There was one problem. I never remember what I plant. That is why I always stick those little plastic plant names with the herbs. I should mention I am not a herb connoisseur. You might have guessed that since I can’t recognize one herb plant from another except for chives. It had been a few days since I had snipped and one of the plastic dohickeys was gone. Oh well, I snipped anyway. I snipped chives and rosemary and whatever was in the last pot.

I walked into my house and a trail of herbs fell out of my hands onto the floor. Spill one.

My next challenge was to break the eggs into the bowl. I broke the eggs into the bowl but wasn’t ready as to  where I was going to dispose of the egg shells. I had to walk across the floor to the garbage and you guessed it, I dripped egg doo on my floor. Spill two.

I made the journey to the refrigerator only to find the milk was out of date. We had been vacationing so that was not surprising. Again it goes with my clumsy cook mode in the fact I didn’t check before I started cooking. I decided to use vanilla soy milk. I poured that into my eggs and started beating with my little hand-held whisk. I am so good at the whisk and I used so much force that I whisked some of the egg right out of the bowl. Spill three.

Next I chopped up my herbs and dumped them into the bowl along with some salt and pepper. I decided to be  a little creative so I opened a jar of pickled asparagus that I bought at a local farmers market. You guessed it, the top was on tight, I used a knife to pry and the juice flew all over. Spill four.

I chopped up a few spears of the pickled asparagus into my eggs. doused them with salt and pepper and again used the whisk the mix it up. That went well until I took the whisk out of the mixture. The whisk slipped from my hand and egg peppered my stove, my microwave and my floor. Spill five.

I heated the pan with a little olive oil and proceeded to pour the mixture into the pan. I was very careful but the egg mixture had a mind of it’s own and wanted to break my spill record so it spilled outside of the pan down the sides and fried there to leave evidence of my mishaps. Spill six.

Surprisingly enough the scrambled eggs with the unknown herb, the vanilla soy milk and the pickled asparagus was pretty good. I am sure the spills added to the flavor. Or maybe the universe knew that after all of those spills my taste buds needed to soothed by something good to eat.