I have been thinking about families today. I have especially been thinking about families that are estranged from one another.
It makes me very sad when I see relationships broken up because of misunderstandings. I once knew a brother and sister in their middle adult years become enemies. They started feuding because of money and homes being left to one and not to all. I do not know who was right or wrong in this case. Many years passed and the feud continued. Children of these adults were not allowed to have any relationship with their cousins. Family events came and went without these people and families being part of each others lives. Soon the brother was on his deathbed. He asked to see his sister. At that moment it didn’t matter who was right or wrong. It didn’t matter what was left to who. All that mattered was that it was time for healing.
The brother died and those cousins, the man.s great nephews that never knew him were the pall bearers.The sister wept about all those lost years. She couldn’t go back. The relationship was mended at the end but there wasn’t enough time left to create new memories.
Relationships are never easy. Forgiveness is never easy. We are a proud people. We always hurt those we love the most. Why am I writing this? Another family I know is suffering from estrangement. Soon it may be too late.
Perhaps I am so passionate about this subject because I have no siblings to feud with. Of course I can’t understand the sibling relationship but what I want to say is that a solo life without your siblings is a lonely life.
Who else is there in this world besides your parents that has shared your life since your birth? Who else shares your genes and your history? Who else resembles your parents so closely?.Who else could share the sibling rivalry?You may not always like your family but there is love possibly deeply buried in the heart.
I have heard the words “I have no regrets if I never make up with my family, with my mother, with my brothers and with my sisters.” I say to you: perhaps you don’t know yourself as well as you think and someday those words will be flung into space in sorrow.
When we cease to exist in this world all that will be left will be those feelings we leave behind. We may think the material things of this world that we leave those we love are all important but they aren’t. They can’t take it with them anymore than we can take our earthly riches with us. What we can take is the love of those we left behind and leave those we left behind our love.
We might not know it but under the non existant feelings we think we don’t have, that love is there somewhere hidden in our heart. It is hidden by our pride, our need to be right, and our selfishness. We all have those feelings. It is ok to feel what we are feeling but ask yourself when the end is near will you like the brother and sister in the story regret not forgiving each other sooner?
Time is all we have until we don’t.